Category Archives: spiritual

Intellectual Gratitude: the Symbolism of Doves During End of Life Practices

I began my walk to gratitude when learning of an illness in 2017. In 2023, a recurrence causes even deeper reflection on end of life choice. I continue to claim good health, but it’s time to think about necessary choices. Rather than feeling sad, I experience deep gratitude as I learn about symbolism behind choice. Let me provide a few examples for you to think about for your own future.

It is unfortunate that we do not typically talk about decisions we make near the end of life, or we leave such decisions to our family or friends. As I grow older, my family members are passing, as are my friends and neighbors, and thus it is not uncommon for me to observe choices made. After a death, an early choice is what to do with the body: burial, cremation, donation for science, etc. Individuals have strong feelings/emotions, cultural and religious practices, and family histories with these decisions. Have you reflected on your own choices? On what basis did you/ will you make your decisions?

Towards a deeper understanding of “choice”, I searched the origins of the common phrase: “ashes to ashes, dust to dust”, and was pleased to learn that Genesis18:27, Job 30:19, and Ecclesiastes 3:20 in the Bible directly refer to “ashes” or “dust”. I thought it wonderful that in the Bible either burial or cremation is supported by Scripture. Family traditions, economic circumstance, location, density of population, etc. also determine choice. In other words, it is up to each of us to choose what we wish for our bodies, after death.

Many people have different opinions and emotions when thinking about where/what will happen to their body after death. Some persons do not like to imagine “fire” , while others do not like to think about a body in the ground for years. The memory of cremation of the Jewish population during the Holocaust is strong and would cause one to prefer burial, but people are changing, The preference for burial in a blanket under an old Oak tree is becoming popular (more natural return to the earth) for some, versus being embalmed, placed in a casket, and then into a vault to be preserved forever. These visual images cause discomfort in many persons, so typically they put off the decision of what to do, choice. Is there a strategy through which we may encourage persons to make necessary choices?

After evaluating my choices, I am satisfied that my body returning to dust (burial) or ashes (cremation) would yield a similar outcome: separating the physical body from energies within the body, the soul (consciousness).

This outcome is directly addressed by most religions. That is, after death the body (vessel) is no longer of importance, rather the “soul” or “spirit” is the emphasis. In Christian religion, the Trinity conception of God (the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit) is often the focus. What happens to one’s “Soul” at death is what matters.

Some religions/persons focus further on the physical body. That is, some religious practices frown upon destroying the physical body which would be an argument against cremation, but religious scholars, priests, and others do believe that God (Catholicism) can resurrect a body, even if cremated. So, again, the choice is up to you.

Personally, during my lifetime I have observed both practices. Each choice seems to make the family and friends very sad during the funeral service. However, in recent years I discovered a practice that makes me joyful, though still sad when a person dies. I discovered the peace and hope that “Doves” create when introduced to family and friends. Thus, I offer introducing doves during end of life services as one strategy to ease the pain of choice.

When we buried my mother, my son requested doves, released at graveside. I will never forget the feeling I had as I released one dove and watched it join the flock of doves, which circled above, and then flew to the Heavens. It was a beautiful, moving memory.

Recently, on the day of cremation, I had the opportunity to again see the release of doves. Rather than experiencing sadness at the thought of the concurrent cremation, persons present experienced peace, hope, and love as the doves escorted the deceased to the Heavens. During that day, I learned the symbolism behind releasing one dove, four doves, 100 doves etc. I was so moved that when I returned home, I read the history of the white dove in religion during funerals, and decided that my choice was to have doves at my end of life.

Doves offer such beautiful moments, and give us joyful memories. The visual images of a flock of doves during a cremation, or graveside burial are everlasting. Doves are symbolic angel escorts guiding our souls to God.

Because I still feel deep gratitude to each little dove I have observed at funerals, I made a video to capture/explain dove symbolism at end of life. Please enjoy. Then consider: What choice will you make someday?

Doves Represent Peace, Hope, and Love Guiding Souls to Heaven

#gratitudeultra

The Emotion of Gratitude: Why It Is So Meaningful and Necessary In Our Lives

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Last weekend a family held the hands of their beloved mother as she passed. It was a sacred moment. Through tears, they gave gratitude for mom’s parenting, joy, and deep spiritual teachings. The colors of the cloth around her neck represented memories from her grandchildren, children, and spouses.

After the death of a loved one, family members/friends reflect on life, focusing with gratitude for the individual they lost. But, life gets busy and hectic so that soon people have to move on to “the living”, while tucking away fond memories of the person who just passed … These life moments are full of various emotions, including gratitude. Deaths link to deep reflection as evidenced by the words of ministers, priests, and rabbis during funerals. The moment a person “slips through” from life to death is profound.

The pathway of Gratitude leads one through the interesting walk of life. Gratitude is multi-dimensional. Gratitude is simple, yet complex. Gratitude causes one to appreciate what you have – now. Gratitude brings deep joy, happiness, and satisfaction. When one experiences gratitude, they are drawn to more positive outcomes in their personal life. Sometimes Gratitude has been described as the strongest of emotions!

Why is Gratitude so meaningful and necessary in our lives?

Is there any stronger emotion that Gratitude?

Gratitude is meaningfully linked with appreciation and gratefulness for what you already have in life. If you are not grateful for what you have, you most likely will not achieve what you desire in the future, because you do not value what you already have. Anthony Peluso on April 3, 2019. Another way one might explain this concept is what you put out into the universe determines what you receive as in expressions of positivity, love, or light. Also, through gratitude one receives joy, happiness and emotional rewards that were never anticipated.

There is one emotion stronger than Gratitude. That is the emotion of “Regret”. Sometimes “regret” is observed during the death and dying process between family members. Regret is sad to witness. When a person waits until death, it is too late. Regret is oppositional to gratitude.

There is no room for regret in anyone’s life. What you appreciate will always reward you in ways you can’t even imagine.
Peluso, 2019

So, during tough times in life, like death, for example, we must remember the necessity of gratitude. The emotion of gratitude helps us embrace grief as a tool, propelling us toward healing. Through gratitude we will find joy and happiness again, and identify the blessings we still have in spite of the pain of loss we feel. Lean towards gratitude and away from regret.

Be grateful, always. It is necessary and will give meaning to your life.

#gratitudeultra

Grateful For This Sacred Holiday Season

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This is a holy season for many people. Today is a sacred day for many – Good Friday. In addition, Spring seems to have finally arrived. Joyfulness is in the air. People seem happy during their holiday shopping for meal planning. Spring break travel options are on the news frequently. The seasonal rains, winds, tornados, and other weather events are giving us a break for the weekend. When outside this morning, I looked up to see the new blooms on my tree. My neighbors smiled and chatted as we all dragged our trash cans out for pick up. Positivity is in the air as we enter the weekend. My encounter with the pink blossoms caused me to pause and give gratitude for all that we have.

As some of us celebrate Easter or Passover or other… let’s pause to reflect on our lives, our Blessings, our families, our friends. This has been a tough year for some. Health issues, economic conditions, weather events, differences of opinions with others, and more have clouded the recent months. Some people are recovering from serious medical treatments. A friend phoned me today to say a family member passed away this afternoon.

In spite of these recent “negative” and “sad” life events, please make this is a time for celebration. Today is the day to reflect on life and the future. Give gratitude for all that you have been given. Give gratitude for others and their blessings. Give gratitude for life. Take a moment for thankfulness. Experience the joy that gratitude will bring to you.

Embrace the many lessons one will learn during this sacred time. Be silent and “listen”. Breathe in and out this life that we are experiencing today and in the future. Practice gratitude!

#gratitudeultra

Gratitude For Prayer

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Recently a stranger approached me at a bakery and asked if she might pray for me. I said “sure” and then she asked if she might put her hand on me while praying. Again I said “sure” as I listened to particular words in her prayer with her young daughter looking up at me. It was not a typical experience. Immediately after another stranger (on the other side of me while waiting in line for the order) told me about her personal story with health issues. I listened and wished her well. While these types of conversational exchanges are increasingly emerging throughout my everyday life, and I am deeply grateful for each and every human interaction, I wonder “why” persons are drawn to me to pray or engage within deeply meaningful exchanges.

I firmly believe that “healing” during any illness occurs as a result of medical science in part, but most importantly, occurs because of the power of prayer. I am learning that the “healing experience” is a collective one, shared mainly by those who have experienced the deepest valleys and highest mountaintops of fears and hopes. Prayer is at the center of most monumental human experience.

Personally, as I grow older I want to learn more about prayer. For example, do you know that there are many different types of prayer (from gotquestions.org)?

The prayer of faith
The prayer of agreement
The prayer of request or supplication
The prayer of thanksgiving
The prayer of worship
The prayer of intercession
The prayer of imprecation
Praying in the Spirit
An invocation prayer

There is great power in prayer and I am grateful for each and every prayer I hear, participate in, offer to God, and receive. I feel such gratitude each and every time someone or a group of individuals prays. How ’bout you?

#gratitudeultra

Grateful For Faithfulness

Focus on the Complexity of Water – Multiple Dimensions

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Water has so many different purposes and applications. We are reminded of the power of water this week in Florida with hurricane IAN. Water is special as it is critical for:

sacred religious rituals like Baptisms, blessings, prayers, births and deaths
life as one cannot live very many days without water
production of power for utilities
cooling systems as in air conditioning
cleaning one’s body and clothing
sporting events like surfing, paddle boarding, skiing, kayaking, canoeing, boating
transportation as in cruising, transporting goods and services around the world

Water makes up the composition of most of the cells in our bodies. Blessed water is changed when one studies the angle at which our molecules connect.

Water is often so beautiful and scenic which is why people love to go to the beach and to live near the beach or lake front, riverside, or even on a pond in the country.

Water is not static but may be dynamic as in a water fall which ripples or roars as in Niagara Falls.

This week find gratitude in studying the complexity and multiple dimensions of water. Its beauty, but power is never ending. IAN reminds us that water should not be taken for granted as it may surge, rise, suck one under, drown, bury, and destroy.

Given the full scope, range, and power of water, give gratitude for water as it is a life form that is dynamic, necessary, and ever changing.

#gratitudeultra

Finding Gratitude In A Cancer Diagnosis

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After five years without my cancer returning, it is back! In four days I begin an intense round of multiple chemotherapies. Surgery is not an option for me this time. Chemo seems to be the only option now.Thus, I search for the courage for what I am about to face. I make last minute arrangements to prepare my mind, body, and spirit to begin to walk the new pathway to my future.

I feel fortunate to be a Ph.D. researcher as I use my skills to find, analyze, evaluate, argue, and describe the various courses of action available to me and my doctors. One of my areas of expertise is in cultural understanding of various groups, people, social classes, ethnic communities, and so forth to learn about and try to understand the value systems and choices people make throughout their lives. I can tell you that age, gender, cultural backgrounds, and various norms are readily observable within Western medicine in contrast to global medical choices. With a minor in statistical design, I am greatly dismayed when reading various medical peer reviewed journal articles, and when attempting to hold discussions with oncologists and other medical professionals. Answers to my simple questions regarding treatment outcomes are not readily available it seems. I do not have adequate time or resources to pursue inquiries into the various companies underwriting and sponsoring some treatment options, and clinical trials available to me.

On the other hand, I am also blessed to have been raised by an old fashioned Baptist minister, who taught me to have faith in God, to go to the scriptures for guidance, and to accept that everything in my life is according to God’s Master Plan. During this time I draw my gratitude from my heart versus my head, for which I feel extremely grateful and at peace. Daily, I read the various poems my mother wrote within ahouseinsideofme.com. Her ministry to the various families within my father’s churches offers guidance and gives me peace and understanding at this time.

Being the analytical person that I am, I have been thinking about patterns throughout life. For example, I do not think that anyone has a perfect life. Life seems to regularly present all of us with variances, for example, each day begins with a sunrise and ends with a sunset; every person experiences a birth and also their death; the tides in the ocean are governed by the gravitational dance between the Earth, Moon, and Sun to give us daily ebb and flow, and/or high tide or swells versus a shallow sandbar or reefs.

So it goes with cancer it seems. One discovers it and removes it through surgery, chemo, radiation, and various other treatments and joy follows with each test documenting no evidence of disease; yet apparently those little cancer cells typically like to reappear with a reoccurrence, and thus the cycle, i.e., remission and return which causes one to experience joy and sadness alternating throughout their life. We ring the bell at the end of a treatment interval and we reserve an infusion chair several months or years in the future. These variances are cyclic patterns of repetitions so often experienced by persons who are visited by the big “C” during their life.

For me, I have determined to find gratitude through my cancer diagnosis through my understanding of the above mentioned types of cycles experienced each and every day throughout one’s life. To be alive means total acceptance of variances during each and every day one is living. Just as the beauty of the colors of the sunrise always fade each day and the night blackens the sky; the joy of beating back and taming each cancer cell fills one’s heart with hope and expectation all the while, in the back of one’s mind lingers the anticipation of new cells revisiting to begin the cycle again.

My cells are visiting me again at this time. Soon I hope to initiate further action to invite them to leave me with hope. Thus, I find gratitude in my recent cancer return, similar in fashion to watching the waves in the ocean and each sunrise and sunset.

Be grateful!

#Gratitudeultra

Begin YOUR Climb to a Joyful Life on #MicheltorenaHeartStairs, With Gratitude

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My dear friend introduced this hidden staircase in Los Angeles, in the Silverlake neighborhood, as I set new goals for my life. Standing at the bottom of the staircase, I noted there were 40 steps to the top. The number 40 is a special number for life, so my goal is to move up the staircase one step at a time as I reach new goals.How ’bout YOU? I encourage you to climb for joy as well.

Those of you following my postings know that I believe in serendipity. As we drove away from the #Micheltorena neighborhood, we talked about all the special relationships we discovered during our visit. For example:

Soon I will have a procedure to insert a #port near my HEART! How lovely to see the #hearts on the stairs as well as to climb up the #HEARTSTAIRS! So cool!
If one reflects upon this location from a SPIRITUAL perspective, you might focus on the number 40, and recall one story of Jesus who was alone for 40 days before he was crucified. Now I am focusing on 40 day events, whether scriptural, social, weather related etc. I have found that when alone, I reflect on life deeply and find peace. As I am about to begin chemo, deep reflection is my thing these days.
Importantly, because of the visit to the #HeartStairs, I am making a list of 40 objectives for health and life to build a bucket list. Starting on such today…
If one visits this neighborhood as a SOCIAL goal, you will learn that this spot is nearly the most posted photo on social media (#Instagram). Something HERE is very special and attractive, drawing people to this space. I wonder why?
As a dog lover, I enjoyed a cup of coffee at the #MuddyPawCoffeShop in Silverlake, a couple of shops down from the #HeartStairs. Their motto is, #Have A Cup, Save A Pup. The proceeds from all purchases at this coffeeshop help to rescue pups. See the photos below which capture the lovely outdoor dining area for owners and their dogs. How wonderful, at least I think so, to find a special spot for me and my pup!

So,… I invite you to check out this location online or in person. Join with me as we climb to our joyful lives in the future.

As always, BE GRATEFUL and LIVE YOUR LIFE to the FULLEST!

#MuddyPawCoffeeShop #HaveACupSaveAPup #SilverlakeCA #LosAngeles

#gratitudeultra

Grateful for Stained Glass Art

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Here is a sketch of an image of stained glass with brilliant bright blues and yellows and images. I am looking for this image in religious stained glass art work sites, museums, old churches, and/or paintings. Has anyone seen this work? If so, please help me find it.

This week I am so blessed to have family, friends, neighbors and amazingly supportive people near me as our summer winds down and the fall approaches. Life is good. I hope you enjoy each day and give gratitude.

#gratitudeultra

Grateful To Find Comfort When In the Valley

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It is hard to feel happy and grateful when you are afraid and stressed with life events. Last night I was in the “valley” in my life as my cancer has returned after more than five years being cancer free. Apparently, my tumors are like “sands” and they cannot perform surgery as they would have to “take up the entire beach”. I lost hope when learning that I would have to take chemo again. I hoped/believed that during the five years some new treatment might have been discovered, yet I was reminded that my ovarian/peritoneal cells were rare and my prognosis for life was short. What ever might I post today to lift our spirits?

Then, I remembered the verse from Psalms 23:4:

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for thou art with me.

KJV

What does this verse mean for us?

I am grateful to find comfort within this verse, and as I typically do, I searched for a deeper meaning to understand the new calm I felt when reflecting on these words:

David, in the earlier verses, had been describing green pastures, still waters, and pathways. I compared this to my five years of cancer-free joy and gratitude.
In verse 4, David switched to a description of a “shadow of death”. This seemed to capture how I was feeling with the diagnosis and treatment plan upon relapse.
But just as soon as I had a heart-felt low, David reminds one “not to fear” because God is with us.

Thus, through this post today I wish to emphasize the importance of “spiritual medicine”.

Just as I plan my chemical infusions, I realize I am also reminded regarding and recognizing the presence of ongoing Divine intervention. Divine intervention which never changes over the years.

God inspired sweet and deep passages to continually protect, love, instruct, and remind us.

Today, I find deep gratitude as the words in Psalms echo in my heart: no more shadows, no more fears, no more evil as God is with me, now, in this valley of decisions.

#gratitudeultra