Sharing gratitude to be alive. Multiple musings from simple to complex w/ people, family, music, poetry, pet love, scenic nature, spirituality, health, motivation, & more. Also, find the book at ahouseinsideofme.com and in print, on Kindle, and iBook titled A House Inside of Me: Poetry by Marian Elsie Blake (2013) by Mary Blake Huer
At the same time, the pathologist noted lung nodule “suspicious for the spectrum of adenocarcinoma”. With the awe comes the shock now! My gynecologist referred me to a pulmonologist to make decisions as to how to proceed. I feel concern right now because of the current pandemic. A serious issue is having a potential “lung” surgery during the additional complication of a COVID variant. This is bad news…
Today my Facebook reminded me that 10 years ago today was my father’s last day of life! Tomorrow will be his 10 year death anniversary. I miss him so.
Rather than be buried in the usual stress of my own life, I devoted this day to those memories of my father. He was a minister 100%. He always was in a suit, tie, jacket. I remember one year on vacation he even rowed a boat in a suit and tie. We sometimes had to cancel our own vacation plans because someone in the church was in the hospital, or was dying, or needed him.
On September 15, 2021, we were reminded that 58 years earlier there was the 1963 church bombing on 16th Street in Birmingham, AL. It happened. I had moved to Birmingham 14 years after the bombing (in 1977) and my son was born there. I recall the KKK meeting me in my little yellow MG Midget with their white hoods and robes on various street corners and at intersections. I remember I had not encountered such an experience during my young life. At that time, I had moved to Alabama from Indiana and was not as aware of cultural issues, and histories as I am now.
Tonight is the eve of a series of CT scans of my body early in the morning. I am supposed to be scanned every three months but due to the pandemic I have put it off for nearly one year. I hate these scans with iodine contrast. The iodinated procedure enhances the visibility of cancer pathologies and vascular structures and organs. I will have three scans due to the multiple sites of my cancers four years ago.
I am trying my best to practice gratitude and to remain in a State of Gratitude this week, but it is harder than usual because I feel anxious regarding the possible results. I do not have any symptoms which gives me confidence that everything will be ok. But, I read the literature and know the odds for my health each year, so I am not denying what result may appear.
Over the holiday I took our big puppy, Augustino, to see the ocean for his first time as he is smart and we love to watch him explore through new experiences. Of course the professor in me believes he learns and acquires motivation through anticipation of rewards, and sensations of pleasure that correlate with happiness. Thus far, his motivations seem to be linked to “toys” rather than “foods”. Just like people, it is important during his early development to foster curiosity and exploratory behaviors. I admit I was disappointed that he did not seem interested in the ocean waves this first time, rather he loved to watch the other dogs and people. Maybe he will love the waves the next time?
The Times, they are changing: Pandemic outcomes continue to go up and down. Variants continue to emerge. People are still seemingly unsettled. Health issues, death and dying, and unknowns are still reported. A war has ended. Fires and hurricanes continue. What are you to do during these crazy days to keep yourself in a State of Gratitude? How is it possible to remain joyful?