Category Archives: emotionality

Arousing Joyful Hope: Footbridges to Healing

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Why is Disneyland’s official slogan (since 1955) “The Happiest Place on Earth”? Because for years a day at Disney provides a joyful, magical memory for all attending. But, in gratitude I want to tell you about another special complex in Orange County, CA, very near Disney, which exceeds the joy, arouses hope, and creates life saving miracles and memories for those visiting – the #CityofHope specialty hospital in Orange County, CA.

With the deepest gratitude, my life continues because of the care I receive at this City of Hope. This parklike campus is to me another happiest place. It is special for many reasons which I would like to explain to you. My observations have been collected over the past three or so years.

As many of you may or may not know, I am an observer (researcher/scholar) by training. I watch, analyze and write about people and their experiences. With each day, I am more impressed with my observations while at #TheCityofHope. Here are a few examples:

The staff and leadership are special, caring human beings. I wondered and asked how they were interviewed and selected for their jobs. They smiled and stressed that the patients have enough to deal with, so their job is to make patient’s lives easier. I overheard that one staff used to work at Disneyland, while another used to work at the Queen Mary. Yet another rescued dogs. How fun to have such people loving staff, in addition to their medical skills!

The vision and mission of the organization are holistic, and all encompassing. Personally, I have never seen a hospital so diverse in its outreach or offerings. I regularly participate in a drumming class. Patients were invited to a #PacificSymphony 4th of July event honoring Veterans, Beach Boy songs and fireworks. An interfaith Spiritual Care Center Blessing Broadcast with various Clerics and the Pacific Chorale is soon. #TheCityOf Hope (COH) has an ongoing agreement with the South Coast Plaza, a global shopping destination and largest shopping center on the West Coast, for regular entertainment and permanent space in the center of the mall. While at the #ThisisHope Event, the President of COH, #AnnetteWalker, welcomed everyone to come and take one of her business cards if they ever needed help for their health. She will personally facilitate action for each of us. Who does that?

The physical location of COH is peaceful, with perfect visibility within the typically crowded populations of Southern CA. The buildings’ windows face the mountains and during infusions one may watch the trains as they pass regularly through the beautiful CA landscape. When there, I am reminded of the religious analogy of the city set on the hill, symbolizing the idea of being a beacon for persons seeking guidance.

The approach to health is inclusive of international health practices, from typical Western to inclusion of Eastern philosophies, as well; the facilities and knowledge bases of the doctors are state-of-the art, the very best evidenced-based practices.

People matter at COH. Recently, they held a #CityofHopeOCInauguralCelebratingSurvivorshipEvent. During that event they created a #festivebluecarpetwalk. As all patients walked the carpet – we noted staff, service providers, executives, and others on each side of the roped walkway, holding signs, ringing bells, applauding us, and cheering to our health. What an uplifting memory! Later we ate with various survivors of various cancers, eagerly sharing their stories and experiences, exchanging information between young and old, newly diagnosed, and old timers survivors. It was so positive for all.

The posts in #gratitudesquared focus on different types and levels of gratitude. We should all be ever grateful when we have good health. If you ever lose such, I wanted to share my gratitude for one place where one might go.

The COH was built to beat cancer. I hope these few examples help explain why these practices arouse me to hopeful joy. My life continues because I choose to continually cross the COH footbridges to healing…. These are not typical medical practices. I am observing and tracking a holistic model in real time with each and every visit. This is not an ordinary medical facility with depressing oncology waiting rooms and sleepy, ill patients. It is a place with joy, light, promise, and hope.

Move over Disneyland…. you may make me happy for a day, but the COH keeps me joyfully alive for many days. With sincere appreciation and deep felt joy, I share this gratitude for COH today. I end now with the ringing of my bells from COH!

#gratitudeultra

You’ve Got to Be Ready to Begin Again (w/ Gratitude)

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Sometimes in life you have to start over. I am grateful for the many times recently it’s been possible for me to begin again, supported by others.

Last week the City of Hope Orange County held their Inaugural This is Hope Celebrating Survivorship event and invited their survivor celebrants to be together and share. What a great day with patients being applauded along a festive blue carpet walk!

As I walked the blue carpet I thought of an old song by Bette Midler, an artist I’ve followed for many years. Bette’s early performances in the mid 1970’s are some of the best I think.

Recently, I found one of my all time favorite blends of Bette’s music and theatrical storytelling, “Ready to Begin Again/Do You Want to Dance”. It inspired me to begin again even though I received tough news.

Watch the brief You Tube clip of her performance below, posted by BerlinDirk2 (perhaps from 1980).

A common theme of survivors is a willingness to begin again no matter what.

I am grateful to keep beginning again. We all must!

Will you, won’t you try it too?

With gratitude, 

M.

Please note: This is a seven minute video. Be patient and watch to the ending just this one time! Bette is our cheerleader..

#gratitudeultra

Hope, Joy, and Peace

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Generally, I find joy most days and peaceful situations such as while reading lovely verses, listening to calming music, or viewing beautiful scenes such as of sunsets, bodies of water, or happy groups of people enjoying life. It is important for me to “give back” to others who may not have “peace” in their life at the moment. In other words I look outside of myself to try to help others who are suffering or worried. Helping other people helps me. It is one source of gratitude.

I have a dear friend whose grandson is in the military, driving a tank daily in a war. I try to send uplifting messages of love and hope, calm and beauty to her as her family situation is so unlike my own. Similarly, I value the trust strangers place in me when they are facing life threatening illnesses, and they are afraid and reaching out for little messages of “hope”. What an honor to be considered useful to others reaching out to calm their deeper fears.

When I communicate with individuals who gift me with their inquiries, I look to other authors for deeper understandings.This morning I looked for explanations and characteristics of “hope”. What is it? Where does it come from? How does it play a role in each of our lives? I think the post by Shauna W., 4 Characteristics of Hope, gives us some important guidance.https://learningfreeblog.com/2020/07/06/4-characteristics-of-hope/

Let’s consider the aspects from which hope is drawn which differ from those for joy and peace:

  • Hope implies a future event or feeling.
  • Hope and waiting are connected.
  • Hope is derived from faith.

It seems that “joy” and “peace” are more fleeting or momentary, whereas “hope” is not. When you are afraid or lonely or unhappy, the solution for such seems like it needs to be immediate. Sometimes the pain or despair is overwhelming to bear. We want to be hopeful.. We want to believe it will get better. We wish to end the fear. But, the exact “hope” we are searching for takes time. This is so important for us to realize and reflect upon.

Hope comes in our futures. Hope appears if we wait a bit for it. Hope springs from our faith within. Hope is a more complex and deeper emotion for us. Note in the article by Shauna W. above she tells us:

no one hopes for what they already have. It’s the time between realizing what we need, and our receiving of it, that we must confidently expect. Hope sits between.

In brief, please understand that one must continue to seek joyful moments in your life, and peaceful activities when you are feeling afraid and alone. But, know confidently that “hope” is coming to you soon. Hope follows joy and peace.

What an important lesson to learn: hope requires patience, waiting, anticipation, and faith. But, oh the joy that comes when “hope” is restored! Some say that “hope overflows”. May you all experience an abundant outpouring of hope in your life soon.

Grateful to Understand When It Is Enough!

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It seems that some people strive for more and more within their daily lives which is both a good attribute (for education, a better job, to become a model parent, to help within their communities, etc.) as well as a nearly torturous trait, as seeking materialism, or more attention from others, or more money does not typically equate with happiness and joy, does it?

Such desires for MORE often lead to unhappiness at times. Therefore, the point of this posting is to encourage one to find gratitude through knowing when YOU find “It is enough”!

Finding “enough” is a peaceful experience. Finding “enough” may lower your blood pressure. Finding “enough” may allow you to really “see” your world and life in a new way because finding “enough” gives you the time you have not had.

Finding “”enough” may be compared to:

  • Existing in a more blissful state of peace and tranquility.
  • Accepting/appreciating what one already has.
  • Discovering the benefits within the non-materialistic activities in life.
  • Acquiring a thankfulness for opportunities around you.
  • Deepening your spirituality.
  • Evolving your human spirit through soulfulness.
  • Becoming a new and better YOU.

Learning when “It is enough” develops a new YOU, from within.

Just like the new tree in the image above, pausing to appreciate “enough” reveals the deeper, more reflective YOU. This concept is but one description of walking the pathway to GRATITUDE – knowing that you have enough.

Try it, and experience your emotion from within your new inner nature!

#gratitudeultra

How Does The Actual Healing Process Interact With the Body Versus How it Engages With the Soul?

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Many people seem to become more spiritual when faced with a serious illness. Why I wondered? The last time I visited the City of Hope (COH), I noted the quote on the huge glass wall at the entrance.

I was pleased to see the COH mention the “body” AND the “soul” as I believe one’s spiritual or soul’s journey is as important for healing, if not more so, than the medical (surgical, chemo, pills, radiation, alternative medical practices, etc.) actions selected.

Since I typically analyze most events, I continue to wonder why my interest throughout this recurrence focuses mainly on my listening to old hymns from my father’s (a minister) tent meetings? Exclusively, I claim that old hymns like “His Eye Is On The Sparrow” seem to be healing me more during this recurrence than all the latest medical practices available. To put this phenomenon in context, I have never listened to these old gospel/spiritual songs since I was a young child. Yet, after six years of no need for treatments, it appears as if my spiritual side is out performing my bodily functions to keep me alive. In fact, I requested that my doctor write such in his medical notes in my files recently, and he did.

I pondered further regarding an explanation for my positive outcomes during this recurrence. While I appreciate all the pills, scans, and chemical infusions I am receiving, I believe in the music that my soul is listening to these days as an explanation for my continued life. In particular, there are old, old hymns from my father’s youth that I am enjoying. I have not listened to these songs for more than 50 years, but I listen now, and I remember the old fashioned church meetings I witnessed as a child.

A few days after taking that photo of the COH sign regarding “body” and “soul”, I was driving in my car, and listening to various songs on Pandora, when I heard the old hymn “Blessed Assurance”. As I listened to the lyrics of that song, I realized that my doctor had never given me any “assurance” regarding my treatments. He said “probably I would live X long”, or “we would hope that your treatment will give you more months or years!” When I asked him to be more specific, he declined and said “we never know”.

A LIGHT BULB CAME ON!!!!

That is, while listening to the lyrics of that particular song, I concluded that when medically trying to “cure the body”, there is no ASSURANCE given by the doctors and staff.

Patients, myself included, constantly hope and place their trust in their doctor, even in the face of ongoing collateral damage from their various treatments. Patients continue on with hope, or decide to stop when they can no longer have (or withstand) further treatment for a variety of reasons. But the actual ASSURANCE patients hope for is always missing whenever one is focusing on healing the body. This is probably due to medical licensure, FDA regulations, pharmaceutical guidelines and so forth.

For myself, a patient who wants ASSURANCE when undergoing all the experimental treatments, I understand that I will never get it from the typical western medical practice. Rather, I will get absolute ASSURANCE when I rely on healing through my SOUL.

Listen to the old hymn, Blessed Assurance! This was an absolute message as well as an explanation, on that day, provided to my spiritual side! Persons who practice within their various religions, or who are spiritual do believe in their future. As they practice and believe in their faiths, they are given absolute assurance as to their soul’s futures.

The COH is a great facility and I am grateful to be their patient. I love all the activities the COH provides for their patients to feel included. For example, they have a “Wishing Tree” where they invite people to leave messages of hope and inspiration tied to the trees. It is a beautiful collection of their patients’, hope, love, and prayers on the various branches of the multiple trees. See the photos with the messages tied to the trees. But this wishing tree does not give assurance. It gives hope.

These are messages of HOPE, not guaranteed outcomes.

So to answer the question I asked at the top of this blog:

How Does The Actual Healing Process Interact With the Body Versus How it Engages With the Soul? My answers regarding “outcomes” are explained through two parts:

Healing outcomes (or not) of the BODY are based on BEST MEDICAL PRACTICES and HOPE;

Healing outcomes when engaged through the SOUL are based on ASSURANCE, and FAITH.

HOPE is the stimulus for carrying on….. but ASSURANCE gives one PEACE and UNDERSTANDING from the beginning to the end of treatment.

I am grateful for healing assurance through my soul!

#gratitudeultra

Intellectual Gratitude: the Symbolism of Doves During End of Life Practices

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I began my walk to gratitude when learning of an illness in 2017. In 2023, a recurrence causes even deeper reflection on end of life choice. I continue to claim good health, but it’s time to think about necessary choices. Rather than feeling sad, I experience deep gratitude as I learn about symbolism behind choice. Let me provide a few examples for you to think about for your own future.

It is unfortunate that we do not typically talk about decisions we make near the end of life, or we leave such decisions to our family or friends. As I grow older, my family members are passing, as are my friends and neighbors, and thus it is not uncommon for me to observe choices made. After a death, an early choice is what to do with the body: burial, cremation, donation for science, etc. Individuals have strong feelings/emotions, cultural and religious practices, and family histories with these decisions. Have you reflected on your own choices? On what basis did you/ will you make your decisions?

Towards a deeper understanding of “choice”, I searched the origins of the common phrase: “ashes to ashes, dust to dust”, and was pleased to learn that Genesis18:27, Job 30:19, and Ecclesiastes 3:20 in the Bible directly refer to “ashes” or “dust”. I thought it wonderful that in the Bible either burial or cremation is supported by Scripture. Family traditions, economic circumstance, location, density of population, etc. also determine choice. In other words, it is up to each of us to choose what we wish for our bodies, after death.

Many people have different opinions and emotions when thinking about where/what will happen to their body after death. Some persons do not like to imagine “fire” , while others do not like to think about a body in the ground for years. The memory of cremation of the Jewish population during the Holocaust is strong and would cause one to prefer burial, but people are changing, The preference for burial in a blanket under an old Oak tree is becoming popular (more natural return to the earth) for some, versus being embalmed, placed in a casket, and then into a vault to be preserved forever. These visual images cause discomfort in many persons, so typically they put off the decision of what to do, choice. Is there a strategy through which we may encourage persons to make necessary choices?

After evaluating my choices, I am satisfied that my body returning to dust (burial) or ashes (cremation) would yield a similar outcome: separating the physical body from energies within the body, the soul (consciousness).

This outcome is directly addressed by most religions. That is, after death the body (vessel) is no longer of importance, rather the “soul” or “spirit” is the emphasis. In Christian religion, the Trinity conception of God (the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit) is often the focus. What happens to one’s “Soul” at death is what matters.

Some religions/persons focus further on the physical body. That is, some religious practices frown upon destroying the physical body which would be an argument against cremation, but religious scholars, priests, and others do believe that God (Catholicism) can resurrect a body, even if cremated. So, again, the choice is up to you.

Personally, during my lifetime I have observed both practices. Each choice seems to make the family and friends very sad during the funeral service. However, in recent years I discovered a practice that makes me joyful, though still sad when a person dies. I discovered the peace and hope that “Doves” create when introduced to family and friends. Thus, I offer introducing doves during end of life services as one strategy to ease the pain of choice.

When we buried my mother, my son requested doves, released at graveside. I will never forget the feeling I had as I released one dove and watched it join the flock of doves, which circled above, and then flew to the Heavens. It was a beautiful, moving memory.

Recently, on the day of cremation, I had the opportunity to again see the release of doves. Rather than experiencing sadness at the thought of the concurrent cremation, persons present experienced peace, hope, and love as the doves escorted the deceased to the Heavens. During that day, I learned the symbolism behind releasing one dove, four doves, 100 doves etc. I was so moved that when I returned home, I read the history of the white dove in religion during funerals, and decided that my choice was to have doves at my end of life.

Doves offer such beautiful moments, and give us joyful memories. The visual images of a flock of doves during a cremation, or graveside burial are everlasting. Doves are symbolic angel escorts guiding our souls to God.

Because I still feel deep gratitude to each little dove I have observed at funerals, I made a video to capture/explain dove symbolism at end of life. Please enjoy. Then consider: What choice will you make someday?

Doves Represent Peace, Hope, and Love Guiding Souls to Heaven

#gratitudeultra

The Emotion of Gratitude: Why It Is So Meaningful and Necessary In Our Lives

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Last weekend a family held the hands of their beloved mother as she passed. It was a sacred moment. Through tears, they gave gratitude for mom’s parenting, joy, and deep spiritual teachings. The colors of the cloth around her neck represented memories from her grandchildren, children, and spouses.

After the death of a loved one, family members/friends reflect on life, focusing with gratitude for the individual they lost. But, life gets busy and hectic so that soon people have to move on to “the living”, while tucking away fond memories of the person who just passed … These life moments are full of various emotions, including gratitude. Deaths link to deep reflection as evidenced by the words of ministers, priests, and rabbis during funerals. The moment a person “slips through” from life to death is profound.

The pathway of Gratitude leads one through the interesting walk of life. Gratitude is multi-dimensional. Gratitude is simple, yet complex. Gratitude causes one to appreciate what you have – now. Gratitude brings deep joy, happiness, and satisfaction. When one experiences gratitude, they are drawn to more positive outcomes in their personal life. Sometimes Gratitude has been described as the strongest of emotions!

Why is Gratitude so meaningful and necessary in our lives?

Is there any stronger emotion that Gratitude?

Gratitude is meaningfully linked with appreciation and gratefulness for what you already have in life. If you are not grateful for what you have, you most likely will not achieve what you desire in the future, because you do not value what you already have. Anthony Peluso on April 3, 2019. Another way one might explain this concept is what you put out into the universe determines what you receive as in expressions of positivity, love, or light. Also, through gratitude one receives joy, happiness and emotional rewards that were never anticipated.

There is one emotion stronger than Gratitude. That is the emotion of “Regret”. Sometimes “regret” is observed during the death and dying process between family members. Regret is sad to witness. When a person waits until death, it is too late. Regret is oppositional to gratitude.

There is no room for regret in anyone’s life. What you appreciate will always reward you in ways you can’t even imagine.

Peluso, 2019

So, during tough times in life, like death, for example, we must remember the necessity of gratitude. The emotion of gratitude helps us embrace grief as a tool, propelling us toward healing. Through gratitude we will find joy and happiness again, and identify the blessings we still have in spite of the pain of loss we feel. Lean towards gratitude and away from regret.

Be grateful, always. It is necessary and will give meaning to your life.

#gratitudeultra

So Grateful to my Vet: I Was As Sick as a Dog, but Better Now

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Hello again, Barley here. You may remember my April 20 message, DogGoneIt! I was so afraid to go to the Vet for surgery. But…..

I am pleased to tell you that after oral surgery, surgery to remove a growth on my tongue, dialyses, a new renal prescription diet, plus two weeks of drugs, I am much better, am at home, and looking forward to more time with my mom.

My sincere thanks to my Vet, and to all of you who wished me well.

A very Grateful dog to an excellent Vet, with love, Barley

#gratitudelite

DogGone It!

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Hi. I’m Barley and I am worried. My mommy took me to the Vet this week and they took blood, and now I have to go to the Animal Hospital for two days, with fasting, IV, extra fluids, some oral surgery, and maybe more. My labs revealed kidney problems. Can you believe it?

I want to thank my mommy and the Vet, on the one hand, for taking good care of me, but I am fearful on the other hand. So for the next couple of days I am sending up doggie prayers that I will be ok. I also will go to the beach to watch the waves, birds, and people playing in the ocean. Please God a few more years helping my mommy recover from her illness would be nice, as she still needs me. With gratitude for nearly 13 years of life, and hoping I wake up after surgery. Love you all, Barley.

#gratitudelite

Grateful For This Sacred Holiday Season

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This is a holy season for many people. Today is a sacred day for many – Good Friday. In addition, Spring seems to have finally arrived. Joyfulness is in the air. People seem happy during their holiday shopping for meal planning. Spring break travel options are on the news frequently. The seasonal rains, winds, tornados, and other weather events are giving us a break for the weekend. When outside this morning, I looked up to see the new blooms on my tree. My neighbors smiled and chatted as we all dragged our trash cans out for pick up. Positivity is in the air as we enter the weekend. My encounter with the pink blossoms caused me to pause and give gratitude for all that we have.

As some of us celebrate Easter or Passover or other… let’s pause to reflect on our lives, our Blessings, our families, our friends. This has been a tough year for some. Health issues, economic conditions, weather events, differences of opinions with others, and more have clouded the recent months. Some people are recovering from serious medical treatments. A friend phoned me today to say a family member passed away this afternoon.

In spite of these recent “negative” and “sad” life events, please make this is a time for celebration. Today is the day to reflect on life and the future. Give gratitude for all that you have been given. Give gratitude for others and their blessings. Give gratitude for life. Take a moment for thankfulness. Experience the joy that gratitude will bring to you.

Embrace the many lessons one will learn during this sacred time. Be silent and “listen”. Breathe in and out this life that we are experiencing today and in the future. Practice gratitude!

#gratitudeultra