Tag Archives: Healing

Part Seven:  Picking Hope From Your Garden Within

As you traveled through these six conversations, what question has been quietly growing within you?

  1. Can I still trust my own body?
  2. What is really happening within my body?
  3. How do I live with uncertainty?

An experienced Gardener knows:

  • Growth happens when nothing is visible.
  • Every garden has weeds.
  • It’s important to spend more time cultivating than worrying. 

This knowledge is similar in biology.

Gardeners do not expect perfection:

  • Flowers bloom and fade.
  • Branches break.
  • Bugs arrive.
  • Weeds appear overnight.

Yet every spring, gardeners begin again.

Our bodies are not so different from a garden.

  • DNA repair is pruning.
  • Immune cells are gardeners pulling weeds.
  • Stem cells are new seedlings.
  • Scars become new pathways.
  • Sleep becomes nighttime cultivation.
  • Exercise becomes tending.
  • Nutrition becomes soil.
  • Medicine becomes tools.

Our metaphors begin organizing our conversation. 

Not explaining. Organizing.

They organize the way we think. 

Once we see biology differently, we begin living differently.

Another metaphor might be a lighthouse!  Think of the beauty from the light shining in the distance, guiding you to safety, security, perhaps to your home. The lighthouse provides orientation for us. This is a remarkable vision from which we continue our discussion on hope and health.

People facing illness desperately want resolution. It may not always be possible. Orientation is.

This framework offers something more immediately attainable.

Orientation.

Knowing where you are.

Knowing what your body is attempting.

Knowing who the repair crews are, coming to help you.

Knowing that uncertainty does not mean abandonment.

That is a profound distinction.

You are probably reading this now because you are experiencing uncertainty at this time in your life.

So, I ask one favor of you. When you are finished reading, I invite you to come with me into our gardens as you continue your life. Within these six blogs we have discussed possibilities for your reflection:

The biology is important.

The science is important.

The repair crews are important.

But underneath all of these blogs in the series is my quieter message:

You don’t have to face uncertainty alone.

These conversations within will accompany you through one of the hardest experiences of your lives without pretending to have all the answers, if you are willing to walk alongside me.

Choices

There are differences between owning a garden… and loving one.

Many people stand in their garden saying,

Why aren’t you perfect?

Gardeners don’t.

They ask,

What does this plant need today?

That question changes everything.

Similarly, the body is not an enemy. Sometimes we need to ask what does my body need today?

It is entrusted to us. There are many variations but it is really a miracle and functions constantly even though you are not often aware of such. When your body has a misfire, you also may choose what you wish to do next to protect and facilitate your overall health.

Always remember that you typically  have choices in life that move you toward healing.

During my years as a rehabilitation professional, I learned that healing is rarely a straight line. Sometimes the greatest victories were measured in inches…

or one more spoken word…

or one spoon lifted independently… To someone else, it was only a spoon. 

To us, it was independence returning.

or one smile after months of discouragement.

Gardeners understand this.

Tiny growth matters. Tiny accomplishments matter.

Revisiting Biology in the New Framework

Our discussions have assisted you in considering that biology is doing what you may never have seen before.

Consider that you are now visualizing misfires, and the work by various repair crews  healing your body.  As a part of something unimaginably larger than yourself,

Wonder begins when we finally see where we are.

Not just geographically.

Biologically.

Emotionally.

Spiritually.

In the universe.

Expanding Your Choices in the Presence of Illness

I hope you are now considering the expansion of choices you might have now that you have learned more about your biology.

You, as the reader decides:

  • Will I continue living in fear?
  • Will I become more curious?
  • Will I ask different questions?
  • Will I become an active participant?

The responsibility shifts now, very naturally to you.

Humanistic Biology

The vision of biology described within this framework includes – repair crews to fix misfires, accumulation of changes, and  partnerships with medicine. Our multi-condition model of lived biology has layers:

  • Normal repair
  • Persistent misfires
  • Long-term adaptation
  • High-intensity medical intervention

Biological Misfires and Hidden Healing

As I recovered during the past decade, I remember thinking: I had no idea my body was accomplishing so much without my awareness. I purposefully began to focus on what was around me and within me. I thought about the words AWE, NOVEL, and WONDER.

I listed a few relevant statements as I recovered and continued to live:

  • Most biological misfires are repaired silently.
  • Our bodies employ remarkable repair crews every day.
  • Medicine joins and becomes an extension of the body’s own repair crew.
  • Fear is natural, but it does not have to guide our decisions.
  • You are encouraged to move away from an initial fear response to one that is more hopeful. 
  • Remember: Living is your end goal.

Discovering Hope in Your Garden Within

When I began this journey through illness, I thought I was learning about disease. Instead, I found myself learning about life.

I discovered repair crews I never knew existed.

I discovered resilience that had been quietly working long before I noticed it.

Most of all, I discovered that wonder can exist in the same place as uncertainty. That is the journey I hoped to share with you.

Listen to the message: Come With Me…

This is an invitation to continue living, your best life!

The garden is a companion image in which you have control over the flowers you plant and tend.  The choice to plant wonder is yours, just as it is in your garden, 

I hope you find peace and joy in your journey toward healing.

#gratitude ultra

The Miracles We Never Notice Within Our Bodies: Misfires Part Two

When I introduced the Misfires series I emphasized our biology and our emotional health. Biological pathology and human experience are not identical. 

Healing requires attention to both. 

Perhaps our journey now takes an unexpected turn: understanding emotion through biology.

Today I want to talk with you about health. Specifically, I  will focus on your emotions as you focus on your health.

While we focus on emotion, will you trust me enough to take a momentary journey towards “awe”? You may ask, “Mary, where are you taking me?” “What does awe and wonder have to do with biological misfires?” What does wonder and amazement have to do with my emotions and my health?

Please think along with me for a brief second. In my opinion, before we can understand a biological misfire, we must first understand the miracle of your biology. Disease is memorable because health is so abundant.

A misfire matters only because your biological success is so overwhelmingly common. We spend enormous energy thinking about disease, yet we rarely notice the trillions of successful biological events occurring every second that make life possible.

Biology works. 

Quietly ….

Shhhhhhh.  

Listen

It is working for you even now.

Health Surrounds You All The Time

Health is the quiet success of life occurring within us every moment.

A miracle…..

When you are diagnosed with a disease (a term I don’t particularly like), your emotions typically race towards shock and fear. I’m unsure how fear emerges with the diagnosis, but it typically does. I have a sense that our fear is linked to our probably impending concern that we might die.

Within this essay, one of my goals is to encourage you to move away from your “fear reaction” to  a response that is more hopeful, maybe even joyful, towards a reaction that is one of wonder.  

Wonder

Gratitude

Perspective

Hope

Less fear

Consider if you move very slowly, and mindfully toward a feeling of gratitude, hope, and eventually less fear, when possible. May your emotions immediately trigger a mindset that encompasses a focus on health and positivity regarding all of the various developments in science that have emerged in recent years. 

I want to argue that if you receive a diagnosis of a disease or an illness from  your doctor, your response will be less emotional if you move your mind away from the immediate trigger of the fear response.

How Do I Change My Fear Response?

How may I change my initial emotional reaction to the diagnosis you ask?  Well, that is the basic thesis within this blog. 

I want to help you change your emotions when you receive your diagnosis. My recommendations are derived from my own 10 or so years of living with cancer, and from numerous ongoing conversations with patients whom I have met over the years. 

As a researcher at heart, I ask many questions to everyone around me, and I analyze their replies. What follows are my conclusions regarding the miracles which are all around us.

I am not writing a cancer series.

This is not a biology series.

It is not  even a philosophy series.

I want to take you along with me on a guided emotional journey.

Focus on Systems, Processes, Natural, Nature-Made, Man Built/Designed

When I began to reflect upon the words and those semantics and metaphors, I focused on the word “AWE”. What is awe to me?

I had no idea my body was accomplishing all of this without my awareness. I purposefully began to focus on what was around me and within me. I thought about the single word AWE.

I first thought of awe as moving in three circles (TC). The first circle is Everyday Awe: The world is extraordinary.

A newborn baby moving their tiny fingers around my own.

An ocean wave arriving where physics predicts.

A hummingbird sampling my flowers.

The second circle is Biological Awe: The miracle is not only out there. It is also within me.

Millions of your immune cells quietly protected you while you admired the sunset.

While you were sleeping, damaged DNA was repaired, proteins were assembled, old cells were recycled, and new ones quietly took their place.

Sometimes I sit quietly and think about the extraordinary systems that surround us.

I think about an orchestra. Dozens of musicians reading different notes, entering at different moments, yet creating one piece of music.

I think about a forest. Thousands of living organisms—trees, birds, insects, fungi, streams—existing together in delicate balance.

I think about the space shuttle. Millions of individual parts designed to work together with astonishing precision.

Each fills me with awe.

Then I remember something even more extraordinary.

Every one of those systems exists outside of me.

The most remarkable system I know is the one quietly working within me.

My body.

Without asking for applause.

Without asking to be noticed.

It simply continues.

This realization takes me to the third circle.

The third circle is Philosophical awe. This captures our beautiful destination.

Rather than to think of health as the absence of disease, perhaps to begin to think about health is something much richer. Maybe health is the ongoing symphony of countless successful events within our bodies that occur so faithfully that they rarely ask for our attention.

My own body is one of the most astonishing living systems I have ever encountered. My body is  among nature’s most extraordinary creations. My body is a miracle. The biology within my body is a miracle. 

I should take the time to celebrate this fact more often, and not be dismayed when rarely I find an intermittent biological misfire. So I did. I changed my thinking.

How Do I Move From Fear to Joy?

My own reality is that I have learned to find joy, comfort, and gratitude in the science and medicine that might find those occasional misfires and immediately begin to correct such.  When my own biology does not have necessary repair systems available at my time of need, my doctors, pathologists, nurses, and other scientists and researchers are ready and able to help me. This will be our focus in Part Three.

My 10 year journey leaves me in awe of my biology. I have become mesmerized by the medical sciences that rebuild me, when necessary.  Just as nature creates the beauty of snowflakes, ocean waves, trees and forests; and people create symphonies, space shuttles, and freeways; science has evolved to assist in my healing, to locate, understand, and repair my misfires. 

Medicine is not fighting the body.

Medicine is helping the body.

Modern medicine is not an enemy of nature. It is one of humanity’s greatest expressions of nature’s own desire to heal.

Why should my emotions rush towards fear? How did I modify my immediate reaction from sadness to awe? How might you reduce your own feelings of fear, blame, and despair when paired with a negative medical diagnosis? Read and re-read the examples on the remarkable human body.

I invite you to challenge my assumption that this is possible.  My friends and I discuss  the “fear” that accompanies  the diagnosis. How does it emerge? What causes this emotion to appear and nearly dominate a patient’s ability to listen and think immediately.  Where does all this fear come from? One bit of information from my own background that my be relevant here is that I have studied various cultural differences in how people view health, and make decisions. Perhaps each of our own lived experiences contribute to our reactions as tragedies emerge in life? Remember yourself as a little child. What happened when you felt sick? How did the adults around you react?

Part Two is really about your attention. I am asking you to pay attention to something you probably ignored all your life. I am asking you to:

Learn to Notice!

Every moment you have spent reading these pages, your body has quietly continued its work.

Cells have communicated.

Proteins have folded.

DNA has been repaired.

Your immune system has stood watch.

Your heart has continued its faithful rhythm.

Life has gone on inside you without asking for recognition.

Perhaps that is the greatest miracle of all.

So… Before Our Next Conversation

Keep Looking!

There is more health…

More wonder…

More hope…

 Than you first imagined. 

In gratitude, and hoping for your peace of mind.

#gratitudeultra

Note: In our next conversation, we’ll meet one of biology’s quiet heroes—the body’s remarkable repair systems. Every day they search for problems, repair damage, and protect us in ways we rarely notice. Understanding this “repair crew” helps explain why most biological misfires never become disease.

Arousing Joyful Hope: Footbridges to Healing

Why is Disneyland’s official slogan (since 1955) “The Happiest Place on Earth”? Because for years a day at Disney provides a joyful, magical memory for all attending. But, in gratitude I want to tell you about another special complex in Orange County, CA, very near Disney, which exceeds the joy, arouses hope, and creates life saving miracles and memories for those visiting – the #CityofHope specialty hospital in Orange County, CA.

With the deepest gratitude, my life continues because of the care I receive at this City of Hope. This parklike campus is to me another happiest place. It is special for many reasons which I would like to explain to you. My observations have been collected over the past three or so years.

As many of you may or may not know, I am an observer (researcher/scholar) by training. I watch, analyze and write about people and their experiences. With each day, I am more impressed with my observations while at #TheCityofHope. Here are a few examples:

The staff and leadership are special, caring human beings. I wondered and asked how they were interviewed and selected for their jobs. They smiled and stressed that the patients have enough to deal with, so their job is to make patient’s lives easier. I overheard that one staff used to work at Disneyland, while another used to work at the Queen Mary. Yet another rescued dogs. How fun to have such people loving staff, in addition to their medical skills!

The vision and mission of the organization are holistic, and all encompassing. Personally, I have never seen a hospital so diverse in its outreach or offerings. I regularly participate in a drumming class. Patients were invited to a #PacificSymphony 4th of July event honoring Veterans, Beach Boy songs and fireworks. An interfaith Spiritual Care Center Blessing Broadcast with various Clerics and the Pacific Chorale is soon. #TheCityOf Hope (COH) has an ongoing agreement with the South Coast Plaza, a global shopping destination and largest shopping center on the West Coast, for regular entertainment and permanent space in the center of the mall. While at the #ThisisHope Event, the President of COH, #AnnetteWalker, welcomed everyone to come and take one of her business cards if they ever needed help for their health. She will personally facilitate action for each of us. Who does that?

The physical location of COH is peaceful, with perfect visibility within the typically crowded populations of Southern CA. The buildings’ windows face the mountains and during infusions one may watch the trains as they pass regularly through the beautiful CA landscape. When there, I am reminded of the religious analogy of the city set on the hill, symbolizing the idea of being a beacon for persons seeking guidance.

The approach to health is inclusive of international health practices, from typical Western to inclusion of Eastern philosophies, as well; the facilities and knowledge bases of the doctors are state-of-the art, the very best evidenced-based practices.

People matter at COH. Recently, they held a #CityofHopeOCInauguralCelebratingSurvivorshipEvent. During that event they created a #festivebluecarpetwalk. As all patients walked the carpet – we noted staff, service providers, executives, and others on each side of the roped walkway, holding signs, ringing bells, applauding us, and cheering to our health. What an uplifting memory! Later we ate with various survivors of various cancers, eagerly sharing their stories and experiences, exchanging information between young and old, newly diagnosed, and old timers survivors. It was so positive for all.

The posts in #gratitudesquared focus on different types and levels of gratitude. We should all be ever grateful when we have good health. If you ever lose such, I wanted to share my gratitude for one place where one might go.

The COH was built to beat cancer. I hope these few examples help explain why these practices arouse me to hopeful joy. My life continues because I choose to continually cross the COH footbridges to healing…. These are not typical medical practices. I am observing and tracking a holistic model in real time with each and every visit. This is not an ordinary medical facility with depressing oncology waiting rooms and sleepy, ill patients. It is a place with joy, light, promise, and hope.

Move over Disneyland…. you may make me happy for a day, but the COH keeps me joyfully alive for many days. With sincere appreciation and deep felt joy, I share this gratitude for COH today. I end now with the ringing of my bells from COH!

#gratitudeultra

Gratitude Energizes

This gratitude blog apparently is energizing, giving vitality, and generating enthusiasm for all of us as we continue to share and exchange stories of our own gratitudes. I love these frequent experiences with you!

On May 3, 2021, I received several different texts, comments, messengers, and phone calls from you expressing your own gratitude stories, particular to your life. Please know that I sincerely appreciate your positivity and your time to follow along this pathway to gratitude. That evening, I reflected on what triggered your desires to share your own stories. What might have been your motivations? Why are these postings meaningful to you? While I can not explain what prompts you to read my thoughts, or stimulates you to reflect upon your own personal experiences, I would like to share my initial conclusions to see if you agree.

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