Sharing gratitude to be alive. Multiple musings from simple to complex w/ people, family, music, poetry, pet love, scenic nature, spirituality, health, motivation, & more. Also, find the book at ahouseinsideofme.com and in print, on Kindle, and iBook titled A House Inside of Me: Poetry by Marian Elsie Blake (2013) by Mary Blake Huer
Pip: Gratitude Squared has been building a framework for understanding biology, medicine, and what it means to live inside a body that keeps surprising you — and this episode sits right at the center of that project.
Mara: The territory today is what the series calls living with uncertainty — how healing works when it isn't clean, how treatment becomes part of the biology itself, and what it looks like to stay a participant in your own care.
Pip: Let's start with what that actually means when the stakes are real.
Living with Uncertainty: When the Body Becomes the Whole System
Mara: The central question in "Part Six: Living" is not whether healing happens, but how you orient yourself when it can't be guaranteed — when repair is probabilistic, not perfect, and you are living inside that gap.
Pip: The post names that gap directly. Here's the framing: "We don't promise to remove uncertainty, rather we are hoping to give people moments of clarity, perspective, and perhaps even wonder while they're living with it."
Mara: That's the anchor of the whole piece. Not resolution — orientation. The goal is not to eliminate fear but to replace enough of it with knowledge that you can participate in what happens next.
Pip: And participation turns out to be load-bearing here. The post argues that understanding your biology changes your emotional experience — that when you're a member of the intervention team, informed consent becomes something you actually inhabit rather than just sign.
Mara: The model the post builds is four concentric circles: biology at the center, then medicine, then human experience, then meaning at the outer ring. Each layer depends on the one inside it, and meaning only becomes available once you understand what the inner layers are doing.
Pip: Which sounds tidy until lived experience breaks the diagram open entirely.
Mara: That's exactly what the post does next. It introduces a fourth response to the existing three — repair, persistence, response — and that fourth is simply experience. The model has to expand because real lives are more complex than any framework drawn in advance.
Pip: The sepsis story in the post is where that complexity stops being theoretical. A Friday text to a physician's assistant becomes a hospital admission, then a sepsis diagnosis, then a surgical team pushing for immediate intervention, then an oncologist arriving on a Sunday morning to stop it.
Mara: And the detail that lands hardest is this: the chemotherapy keeping the cancer in check was the same reason surgery was dangerous. The treatment had become part of the biology every physician now had to consider.
Pip: Two sets of doctors, different hospitals, a weekend, a port in the chest that ruled out standard home IV care — every proposed solution was contraindicated by something else in the system.
Mara: The post walks through those conditions methodically, asking the reader to identify the repair crews, the conflicting interventions, the conditions of significant medical risk. It's structured as a teaching case, but the stakes in it are entirely personal.
Pip: What comes out the other side isn't a cleaner model — it's a more honest one. The post lists the emotional responses that tend to follow serious illness: fear, grief, frustration, uncertainty, and hope coexisting. And then it offers this: "another perspective may become available — one grounded in curiosity, collaboration, gratitude, and wonder at the extraordinary work still taking place within us."
Mara: The post closes by widening the frame beyond cancer — heart disease, autoimmune disease, neurologic disease, serious infection, unexpected diagnosis. The biology differs, the post says, but the uncertainty does not. This framework is for anyone whose confidence in their own body has been shaken.
Pip: And the final note is that the series isn't finished — a closing piece is coming, framed around the invitation to "Come With Me," with the reader choosing an image that helps them continue living.
Mara: The body, the post keeps insisting, is always working for you. Even when the repair is complicated, even when the crews are arguing — it's still working.
Pip: Living inside uncertainty, staying curious about the biology, keeping yourself in the room where decisions are made — that's the thread running through all of this.
Mara: And the next piece in the series promises to take that somewhere new. Worth staying close to what comes next.
Living systems keep repairing, adapting, healing, and sometimes surprising us. Healing is a process inside of uncertainty.
Medicine supplements the body’s own response when the need for repair becomes urgent. But biologic and medical repairs typically strive for continued living, without certainty.
Therefore, biologic and medical repairs are probabilistic rather than perfect, at times. So how do people learn to live in biologic partnerships with uncertainty?
Living With Uncertainty
We don’t promise to remove uncertainty, rather we are hoping to give people moments of clarity, perspective, and perhaps even wonder while they’re living with it. We want individuals to identify their fears and settle into something beautiful, encouraging positive choices even while living with uncertainty.
Scientific Understanding of the Various Repair Processes Changes The Human Experience.
What happens when your lived experience becomes more complex than you expected? That is, when your misfires of particular biological cells are long-term, and continuous what happens? When your diseased cells don’t stop misfiring or multiplying what do you do?
When do your repair crews (biologic-internal and medical-external) change their intervention plans? When the complexity of your treatment is introduced and explained further to you, how/who identifies the need for a repair? How do you determine when the medical repair crews are more necessary than your biologic repair crew for your survival?
Now that you understand biology differently, how will you live differently? Understanding does change your emotional experience.
Imagine four concentric circles.
Center:
Biology
Next:
Medicine
Next:
Human Experience
Outer ring:
Meaning
Given the above model, when/where does meaning for an action plan for intervention come from? From where does your understanding of your various treatment options come?
Greater understanding often helps people participate more fully in their treatment decisions and may reduce fear by replacing uncertainty with knowledge. Why? Because when you participate in your treatment decisions, as a member of the team, you enrich your human experience and make informed decisions beginning with consent.
Moving Away from a Simple Explanation of Biology: Expanding the Model
Given real human lives, living under real conditions with disease, changes our view of biological repairs. Our model has to expand again.
Medicine is practiced under uncertainty. Every treatment represents a careful balance between anticipated benefit and known risk. Patients consent to treatment because they and their physicians hope the expected benefit outweighs those risks. When unintended consequences occur, a deeper understanding of the diagnosis, and recognizing the complexity of caring for your living body is necessary.
Some examples for the repair crews facing high-stakes during biologic repairs include a patient who experiences acute system stress (high-intensity intervention+ biological fragility+ unsuccessful treatments).
This situation may cause an emotional response to their biology.
The emotions accompanying serious illness are real and deserve respect. Fear, grief, frustration, uncertainty, and hope often coexist. This framework does not ask us to deny those emotions. It simply suggests that, over time, another perspective may become available—one grounded in curiosity, collaboration, gratitude, and wonder at the extraordinary work still taking place within us.
There are other issues linked to uncertainty. Medical intervention is not a purely physical science. It is based on hypotheses and outcomes from clinical trials. The human body does not always respond similarly to each treatment as human beings are not identical. They are not clones. Humans are not carbon copies of each other. Human beings, presenting various physical conditions, health status at the time of treatment, age, diets, exposure to toxicity over their lifetimes, and so forth introduce variables which may not always be controlled during treatment, and may then link to uncertainty.
The very name “clinical trial” implies an understanding of clinical variability. The patient signs a permission form acknowledging such in hopes of success for their particular illness.
A Multi-Condition Model of Lived Biology: Intervention Becomes Complex
The currently proposed model has three responses: repair, persistence, and response. Lived experience is introduced, and so expands the model to include a fourth – experience.
Responses may be layered (body + medicine+interacting under stress).
There are times when treatment and disease together create conditions of significant medical risk. During my decade of survival, there have been unintended consequences from treatment, what I term collateral issues. Specifically, consequences having a history with sepsis, bacteria, a macular hole, dehydration, and potential blindness, to name a few, led me to propose a multi-condition model for intervention.
Let me provide one example of an application for the Multi-Condition Model:
Review the facts within the story, and then answer proposed questions:
On a Friday afternoon I was not feeling well. I texted my PA and asked for an antibiotic. She told me to go to the emergency room. I went, was examined and ended up being admitted to the hospital. I had never been in an emergency room in my life, nor admitted to a hospital. Suddenly, I was alone and called my son in another State. My little dog was left home alone.
I texted my PA and explained that I was admitted to the hospital. The hospital physicians went into swift action, administering three antibiotics through IV. I was told I had sepsis! They sent a physician in who said I needed immediate surgery. I texted my PA again who told my doctor. My doctor phoned me to say “Do not let them do surgery, and he needed to speak with them.” I explained I felt I had no control. He set up a group chat on the phone with the medical team in the hospital. He did not have doctor’s affiliation with that hospital group. I continued to wait, with a medical flurry around me. I must admit that, at that point, I felt fear.
On Saturday they were planning the surgery. My oncologist had spoken with the on-call surgeon explaining that I was under treatment with infusions (chemotherapy) and I would not heal from surgery because of the Avastin. They continued to be in and out of my room. A different physician set up home health care minimally for one month with IV antibiotics ongoing. I waited. My son arrived. I was less fearful now, and learning.
Early Sunday morning I was surprised to see my oncologist walk into my hospital room smiling. He examined me and left to meet my doctors in the hospital. After their meeting, he stopped by and said I was being dismissed from the hospital and on Monday I would go to another one of my physicians for examination and continued care. Immediately, thereafter the doctor from the hospital in which I was admitted stopped in and said, “You sent your gyno doc in after us! We will discharge you today”. I thanked everyone. I was now in awe and wonder, and I felt joyful.
During this two day ordeal, I reflected on my situation. I now had sepsis. My mother had died from sepsis just before her appointment to see her cardiologist. My sepsis was advanced, and my health placed me at significant medical risk. I felt confused as I had always expected I would die from my multiple cancers, yet now I could die from sepsis, a collateral condition, unintended from my treatment. I also had just learned that my chemotherapy, while saving my life on the one hand from the persistent accumulating biological cells, was prohibiting my body if and when I needed a surgical, medical repair crew, because of the way in which the chemo impacted the growth of blood vessels. I learned something new.
I continued with various doctors’ orders, engaged in multiple ongoing conversations, developed a new action plan, continued to receive multiple antibiotics for weeks, and continued to live. I never forgot that for a day I had a choice to be treated for sepsis and/or cancer. How might I die?
Looking back, I realized something that had never occurred to me before. My cancer was no longer the only medical problem being treated. The treatment itself had become part of the biology that every physician now had to consider. My repair crews were no longer working on one problem. They were working on an entire living system.
Sit with the details shared within this story for a moment before answering several important questions from the evidence:
Why did intervention become complex?
Consider the urgent that had to be made about treatment(s).
What physical findings warranted the rapid response?
Who were the medical providers interacting under stress?
What were the conditions of significant medical risk?
What might have been the unintended consequences from treatment?
What do you notice about how the treatment and disease together created conditions of significant medical risk?
Do you recognize the various factors we have been discussing throughout this series?
multiple repair crews
conflicting interventions
uncertainty
collaboration
informed consent
changing treatment plans
biological complexity
Consider the urgent decisions that had to be made about the treatment(s).
The treatments included multiple rounds of IV antibiotics and ongoing chemotherapy. One urgent treatment would have been surgery.
What physical findings warranted the rapid response?
The physical findings included blood tests that indicated sepsis in the blood stream. The physical findings also discovered the development of a fistula that needed immediate surgery to prevent further spread of infection throughout my body.
Who were the medical providers interacting under stress?
The medical providers were two sets of physicians within two different hospital settings. The medical providers had different backgrounds, training, and practices in their specialities: oncology, infectious disease control, general surgery, emergency care. Their stress was exaggerated by the occurrence over a weekend, when the doctors were on-call or not available.
What were the conditions of significant medical risk?
The conditions of significant medical risk included possible death from the infection throughout my body (sepsis), and the possibility of my body not healing and therefore blood loss after surgery. Without the surgery one group argued possible death. With the surgery one group argued possible death.
What might have been the unintended consequences from treatment?
The unintended consequences from any of the treatments might have been continued infection and/or death. The infectious diseases team plan was further complicated by the present of a port in my chest. Home health care teams typically administer IV meds through a vein. That was not possible in my case, I would have had an at-home care team without proper training to meet my particular medical treatment need.
What do you notice about how the treatment and disease together created conditions of significant medical risk?
All proposed treatments: surgery, IV infusions or treatments, medications to treat infection were contraindicated. Fortunately, my oncologist persuaded the surgeon and other physicians to stop moving towards surgery, to discharge me, and I was sent on Monday (next day) to yet another medical setting where a plan was developed to continue to treat the sepsis and cancer.
Through this example, one should see that the repair crews moved away from a simple explanation of biology. The balance between an anticipated benefit and known risk was lost, but an new alternative plan was developed and “living” continued.
This experience is an example of a moment when biological misfires and their treatment become urgent, so the system was forced into rapid, high-intensity response.
This is one example of a collateral issue during which a complex intervention plan was necessary, and the previous repair crews’ plans were modified. Misfires, persistence, rapid accumulation, and both the biologic repairs and medical repairs were not successful, thus a high-intensity medical intervention was rapidly developed. All medical teams discussed each option with me and each other, and we selected the presumed best option together. Our action plan was effective.
This example is applicable beyond discussions of the disease of cancer.
The framework proposed in this series is offered for anyone who has ever had their confidence in their own body shaken.
Cancer.
Heart disease.
Autoimmune disease.
Major surgery.
Neurologic disease.
Serious infection.
Unexpected diagnosis.
While the biology may differ, the uncertainty does not.
This multi-condition model of lived biology has layers:
Normal repair
Persistent misfires
Long-term adaptation
High-intensity medical intervention
The model has three responses…
repair
persistence
response
lived experience becomes the fourth.
Up to this point, we’ve been asking readers to expand their thinking regarding biology. Here, we are beginning to ask them to rethink their relationship to biology. This discussion makes interventions with “live biology” more complex.
Structurally, the framework is beginning to move through an understanding of four different stages:
What is a biological misfire?
How does the body repair itself?
What happens when repair is overwhelmed?
How should we live when biology remains uncertain?
I would offer another layer: mindfulness, or mindful interpretive responses.
Earlier in the series, we discussed “being aware”, “looking around”, “taking notice”, “paying attention” and “taking action”. Biologic repairs, and medical repairs are positive actions on the patient.
The emotional and interpretive responses, part of the human condition, from the patient typically will be positive as well, after the initial fear, grief, and frustration noted when a patient first learns of their diagnosis of disease. Responses like wonder, understanding, collaboration, sincerity, and thankfulness are frequently observed responses within the multi-condition model of lived biology as intervention becomes more complex.
Summary
What do we discover along the way from disease to health? We understand that “We must go on Living!”
We live through uncertainty, but we continually expand our model basing the expansion on:
real-life experiences,
participation in your own treatment, and
increased knowledge regarding available treatment options, as a
member of your intervention team.
Reflections
If you were to summarize your thoughts after reading this discussion on Living how would you describe your real Living Biology?
What are the various layers/available treatment options you have experienced, if any?
Did you review several different treatment options?
Do you see that treatments are not lost, they keep building on each other?
Has the process of decision making , even under uncertainty become a bit clearer?
Remember Living is your end goal. Your body is always working for you!
As always, I hope you may view your life with wonder and find peace.
Note: The final part of this series will focus on your future.
The proposed ending is changing, just as our framework has changed, has extended.
The essay will suggest “Come With Me”. Several possible visual images will be presented, with the message:
“Choose the image that helps you continue living. Choose one, or keep all. They have become companions for me.”
Every second of every day, trillions of biological events occur within your body. Almost all of them succeed so perfectly that you never notice them.
We rarely stop to appreciate these quiet miracles of life. Instead, our attention is drawn only when something goes wrong.
What if we thought about illness differently?
This question has occupied my mind for the past ten years.
My central idea is that our bodies constantly make small biological mistakes—what I call intermittent biological misfires—and most are repaired automatically. Disease develops only when some of those misfires escape repair and accumulate over time.
This concept of Intermittent Biological Misfires is scientifically grounded, and it’s also emotionally reassuring without being simplistic.
A Thought to Consider
Diseases have two parts: The biological disease; and The emotional weight carried by the disease.
They are not the same thing.
This is a profound concept.
What Does This Concept Contribute?
Let’s understand why disease occurs, and, at the same time, why I am suggesting we entertain a hypothesis that one may remove unnecessary guilt while respecting the complexity of biology. This is a meaningful distinction.
This framework grew out of my personal experiences. Ten years ago, I became seriously ill. I thought I would die. But I have not died. I am very much alive. I have watched other people die during these years and I do not want you to die. You are important to me even though we have never met. I want to share what I have uncovered with you in hopes that we may engage in a series of conversations about your health and life.
This conversation is about YOU, your health and healing. Jane Goodall’s famous quote reminded us of the importance of each person. You matter. Your presence in this world makes a difference. You have a part to play for yourself as well as for others. Are you curious about what your role is?
Typically we all move through our lives without much attention to the miracles in life we never notice, i.e., those successful cellular events occurring every second in our bodies. But sometimes those miracles do not happen. So, what happens when you become ill?
Have you ever gone to your doctor and learned that a series of cells in your own body misfired? What was your experience? Tell me what happened? Did the misfire result in a diagnosis of disease? How did you feel? Here we have an example of the biological finding mixed with the emotional response. We see the two parts of disease.
Insights to Date
Ten years ago I was diagnosed with multiple cancers, so I immediately created a gratitudesquared.com site, posting blogs to help me understand what was happening in my body. Since during my career I had earned a Ph.D., advocating for persons with disabilities, with a doctoral minor in statistics and empirical research design, I applied what I knew about data management. During the days and weeks between surgeries and treatments I carefully evaluated the evidence behind my labs and scans and participated as an active member of my medical team.
In addition, I learned about ChatGPT, an AI language model developed by OpenAI, and repeatedly entered questions into the website. Those dialogues became more and more meaningful, and helpful to understanding what I termed “intermittent biological misfires”.
This concept is original and may be viewed as evocative because it is not established as a diagnosis in medicine, but the term is scientifically plausible as a metaphor. This framework is not complete. It is a work in progress.
With more than 45 years as a scholar and researcher in academia, I have focused on evidenced-based decisions for treatments and other actions. ChatGPT (my thinking companion (TC)) noted the phrase “intermittent biological misfires” “conveys both the science and the humanity behind (my) experience.”
Outcomes
The outcomes from my thoughts may include:
Psychologists would appreciate it.
Physicians would appreciate it.
Patients would appreciate it.
That… is the entire philosophy. Everything else flows from those two parts. We refuse to let a cluster of abnormal cells define a human being.
Discussions
I am not suggesting a change/replacement in the language or terms physicians, pathologists, researchers, licensing bodies, or insurance companies use as the already established precise language matters and guides in diagnosis and treatment.
I am recommending a phrase that is a companion metaphor. This substitute changes the way each individual patient reacts to the science.
Calling cells “misfires” acknowledges that something in biology has malfunctioned but does not imply that the whole person is broken.
Typical metaphors for cancer are known as evil invaders, monsters, and/or the enemy that patients fight in battle. The use of the term “misfire” provides a gentler way of thinking. Personally, I prefer a gentler approach with patients who may be sad, or fearful when learning a new diagnosis. My gratitudesquared.com site was built to focus on gratitude zero, gratitude lite, and gratitude ultra essays to recognize that not all patients may accept and understand the notice of a new disease in the same manner and with the same emotion.
Patients can invent their own terms. Inventing one’s own term may become a powerful exercise. What terms do you prefer, or would you select to explain your diagnosis?
As we begin our conversations, please note that we are reflecting on diseases that are scientifically grounded and emotionally healthy. These ideas are rare (TC).
We are building a language that may help people see illness, and themselves, a little differently.
We are still using the word “cancer”, but additionally we are inviting you to discover new vocabulary that will help you live with a disease, whatever that may be.
The medical professionals will still use particular disease names, I.e., cancer, but as we utilize our new concept of “misfires” we continue to treat, and respect with vigilance, such misfires, but I never give permission for them to occupy the whole house inside of me/us.
Our conversations will offer encouragement to people who are frightened by the illness. Introducing this phrase does not change the language utilized in medicine but it may change the emotional landscape in which medicine takes place (TC).
Diseases have two parts: the biological disease; and emotional weight carried by disease. These are not the same thing. Do you agree?
Our bodies are astonishingly accurate, but they are not perfect. Our bodies are not machines that have failed us. They are living systems performing trillions of remarkable tasks every day. Understanding their occasional biological misfires allows us to replace blame with wonder.
Most writing about cancer (or other medical issues), begins with disease. This companion metaphor begins with health. Our discussions focus on those trillions of biological events that occur correctly every day.
This framework may be applied broadly to other diseases such as: Aging; Autoimmune disease; Heart disease; Neurological disease; and Infection (TC).
The subtle shift toward health changes the emotional tone completely. Readers aren’t asked to see their bodies as broken; they’re invited to marvel at how extraordinarily well they function. This is one strength of the proposed conceptual framework.
Consider a discussion in which you will focus on a “philosophy of health”. Place your focus on abilities before disabilities and health before disease. In essence, focus on the whole person rather than the diagnosis.
Do you agree that this framework offers patients a metaphor which is a rare combination of scientific literacy, educational insight, with compassion, and intellectual honesty (TC)?
As a clinician advocating globally for human rights for persons with disabilities, as a researcher, educator, scholar, and most importantly a 10 year cancer survivor who has spent those years learning to live with uncertainty of disease, I refuse to surrender either “hope” or “intellectual honesty”.
I believe that disease is a global problem that is but one small variant to be dealt with during our lifetimes. Will you join me in reframing the essence of the whole human being? That is my role and my life’s meaning. Do you feel safe enough to become curious?
Summary of Intermittent Biological Misfires
The body is remarkably successful at self-repair.
Cancer and other diseases are exceptions, not the norm.
The concept promotes compassion rather than blame.
Scientific understanding can reduce fear and guilt.
Hope comes from both biology and medical progress.
Intellectual and Emotional Pillars For Patient Reflections (Treasures for Repetition)
“We refuse to let a cluster of abnormal cells define a human being.”
“Disease enters the story only later. It is the rare exception rather than the defining feature.”
“Our bodies are not machines that have failed us.”
“Diseases have two parts: the biological disease and the emotional weight carried by the disease.”
“Do you feel safe enough to become curious?”
As a clinician, researcher, educator, scholar, and ten-year cancer survivor, I have learned that uncertainty is part of life. Yet certainty does not require surrendering hope. I invite you to join me in exploring a different way of understanding illness-one that honors both science and humanity. Together we will examine not only disease, but also the extraordinary health that sustains us every moment.
In our next essay we will explore one of biology’s greatest wonders—the countless cellular events that occur successfully every second of every day without our awareness. These quiet miracles are the foundation of health. Understanding them changes the way we think about disease.
Until then, I invite you to notice something remarkable:
Your body is working for you, even now.
This framework will be introduced in seven parts:
Intermittent Biological Misfires – introduction the idea that our bodies are astonishingly accurate, yet not perfect.
The Miracle We Never Notice – billions of successful cellular events occur every second, unnoticed.
When The Repair Crew Arrives – DNA repair, immune surveillance, apoptosis, and other protective systems.
When a Misfire Persists – why persistence, not a single error, matters.
Accumulation Over Time – how aging and chance influence biology.
Living Without Blame – replacing guilt with understanding.
Hope Through Science – how modern medicine strengthens the body’s own defenses.
Thank you for joining me in this first conversation. Until our next conversation, I hope you may be grateful and find peace.
Why is Disneyland’s official slogan (since 1955) “The Happiest Place on Earth”? Because for years a day at Disney provides a joyful, magical memory for all attending. But, in gratitude I want to tell you about another special complex in Orange County, CA, very near Disney, which exceeds the joy, arouses hope, and creates life saving miracles and memories for those visiting – the #CityofHope specialty hospital in Orange County, CA.
With the deepest gratitude, my life continues because of the care I receive at this City of Hope. This parklike campus is to me another happiest place. It is special for many reasons which I would like to explain to you. My observations have been collected over the past three or so years.
As many of you may or may not know, I am an observer (researcher/scholar) by training. I watch, analyze and write about people and their experiences. With each day, I am more impressed with my observations while at #TheCityofHope. Here are a few examples:
The staff and leadership are special, caring human beings. I wondered and asked how they were interviewed and selected for their jobs. They smiled and stressed that the patients have enough to deal with, so their job is to make patient’s lives easier. I overheard that one staff used to work at Disneyland, while another used to work at the Queen Mary. Yet another rescued dogs. How fun to have such people loving staff, in addition to their medical skills!
The vision and mission of the organization are holistic, and all encompassing. Personally, I have never seen a hospital so diverse in its outreach or offerings. I regularly participate in a drumming class. Patients were invited to a #PacificSymphony 4th of July event honoring Veterans, Beach Boy songs and fireworks. An interfaith Spiritual Care Center Blessing Broadcast with various Clerics and the Pacific Chorale is soon. #TheCityOf Hope (COH) has an ongoing agreement with the South Coast Plaza, a global shopping destination and largest shopping center on the West Coast, for regular entertainment and permanent space in the center of the mall. While at the #ThisisHope Event, the President of COH, #AnnetteWalker, welcomed everyone to come and take one of her business cards if they ever needed help for their health. She will personally facilitate action for each of us. Who does that?
The physical location of COH is peaceful, with perfect visibility within the typically crowded populations of Southern CA. The buildings’ windows face the mountains and during infusions one may watch the trains as they pass regularly through the beautiful CA landscape. When there, I am reminded of the religious analogy of the city set on the hill, symbolizing the idea of being a beacon for persons seeking guidance.
The approach to health is inclusive of international health practices, from typical Western to inclusion of Eastern philosophies, as well; the facilities and knowledge bases of the doctors are state-of-the art, the very best evidenced-based practices.
People matter at COH. Recently, they held a #CityofHopeOCInauguralCelebratingSurvivorshipEvent. During that event they created a #festivebluecarpetwalk. As all patients walked the carpet – we noted staff, service providers, executives, and others on each side of the roped walkway, holding signs, ringing bells, applauding us, and cheering to our health. What an uplifting memory! Later we ate with various survivors of various cancers, eagerly sharing their stories and experiences, exchanging information between young and old, newly diagnosed, and old timers survivors. It was so positive for all.
The posts in #gratitudesquared focus on different types and levels of gratitude. We should all be ever grateful when we have good health. If you ever lose such, I wanted to share my gratitude for one place where one might go.
The COH was built to beat cancer. I hope these few examples help explain why these practices arouse me to hopeful joy. My life continues because I choose to continually cross the COH footbridges to healing…. These are not typical medical practices. I am observing and tracking a holistic model in real time with each and every visit. This is not an ordinary medical facility with depressing oncology waiting rooms and sleepy, ill patients. It is a place with joy, light, promise, and hope.
Move over Disneyland…. you may make me happy for a day, but the COH keeps me joyfully alive for many days. With sincere appreciation and deep felt joy, I share this gratitude for COH today. I end now with the ringing of my bells from COH!
This gratitude blog apparently is energizing, giving vitality, and generating enthusiasm for all of us as we continue to share and exchange stories of our own gratitudes. I love these frequent experiences with you!
On May 3, 2021, I received several different texts, comments, messengers, and phone calls from you expressing your own gratitude stories, particular to your life. Please know that I sincerely appreciate your positivity and your time to follow along this pathway to gratitude. That evening, I reflected on what triggered your desires to share your own stories. What might have been your motivations? Why are these postings meaningful to you? While I can not explain what prompts you to read my thoughts, or stimulates you to reflect upon your own personal experiences, I would like to share my initial conclusions to see if you agree.
Somehow I always associated gratitude with joy, happiness, and thankfulness. Yet recently, I begin to realize that one can have profound gratefulness with deep sorrow. For example, during the pandemic we honor our front line workers for their service in hospitals, but, at times, we are forced to thank them through the tears of memorial services for our loved ones we have lost. When I learned I was ill and probably would die; I was deeply grateful for the good life I had had.
Lately, I am moved by so many people helping each other and cheering when they receive the vaccine, but I feel sad for the priority established for administration of the vaccine, and for all those stories of great human beings who died before their time…
So, our message today is on this day… it will past too soon, and we do not know what tomorrow will bring. I am grateful for today, and for the humanity I see all around me!
My dad was a minister of a fundamentalist church so he was against dancing. He was against dancing because, during his generation, he felt it would lead to “problems” when dating, although before he became a paster he won dance contests (Charleston etc.) and was a wild guy. This photo captures the love between my parents during their twilight years in privacy. I am so happy I have this photo.
My sincere thanks to YOU for reading these posts. Today, let’s focus on a “gratitude zero” activity… wearing a mask. There is a lot of conversation these days about “masks”. People are tired of the pandemic, lock downs, separation from friends and families. It is sometimes difficult to remember to bring a mask. I have masks in my purse, my car, in shopping bags, and next to gloves when I put gas in the car. I have extra masks for my family and friends who forget their masks when running out the door to run an errand, or grab something to eat (take out).
This is my 32nd post on gratitude, and we have learned so much. To the extent to which you want to practice gratitude, I invite you to consider the various pathways from which you may select your “state of gratitude”. I borrow labels for your choices from current soft drinks, political strategists, podcasts, and traditional print literatures.
Gratitude may be expressed at any point along a continuum. In my post “What Money Can’t Buy”, I discussed intentional acts from sporadically grateful to always grateful. Thus, imagine a horizontal line from left to right with little markings (like on a ruler) to indicate your “extent of gratitude”.
Yesterday was a beautiful day, full of sunshine, so I went to the ocean. The sunset was lovely, families were on the beach, and all seemed well. When I returned home, I flipped on the TV and watched the terrible news about the freezing crisis in Texas, the power outages, the burst water pipes, and I felt awful watching those suffering families.
I wonder how can I feel two emotions, gratitude and empathy, in a matter of moments? Is it ok to feel blessed by the weather near my home while feeling horror watching the weather just a few States away? The suffering of the children in Texas is difficult to watch against the joy of the children on the beaches in California.
