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The Miracles We Never Notice Within Our Bodies: Misfires Part Two

When I introduced the Misfires series I emphasized our biology and our emotional health. Biological pathology and human experience are not identical. 

Healing requires attention to both. 

Perhaps our journey now takes an unexpected turn: understanding emotion through biology.

Today I want to talk with you about health. Specifically, I  will focus on your emotions as you focus on your health.

While we focus on emotion, will you trust me enough to take a momentary journey towards “awe”? You may ask, “Mary, where are you taking me?” “What does awe and wonder have to do with biological misfires?” What does wonder and amazement have to do with my emotions and my health?

Please think along with me for a brief second. In my opinion, before we can understand a biological misfire, we must first understand the miracle of your biology. Disease is memorable because health is so abundant.

A misfire matters only because your biological success is so overwhelmingly common. We spend enormous energy thinking about disease, yet we rarely notice the trillions of successful biological events occurring every second that make life possible.

Biology works. 

Quietly ….

Shhhhhhh.  

Listen

It is working for you even now.

Health Surrounds You All The Time

Health is the quiet success of life occurring within us every moment.

A miracle…..

When you are diagnosed with a disease (a term I don’t particularly like), your emotions typically race towards shock and fear. I’m unsure how fear emerges with the diagnosis, but it typically does. I have a sense that our fear is linked to our probably impending concern that we might die.

Within this essay, one of my goals is to encourage you to move away from your “fear reaction” to  a response that is more hopeful, maybe even joyful, towards a reaction that is one of wonder.  

Wonder

Gratitude

Perspective

Hope

Less fear

Consider if you move very slowly, and mindfully toward a feeling of gratitude, hope, and eventually less fear, when possible. May your emotions immediately trigger a mindset that encompasses a focus on health and positivity regarding all of the various developments in science that have emerged in recent years. 

I want to argue that if you receive a diagnosis of a disease or an illness from  your doctor, your response will be less emotional if you move your mind away from the immediate trigger of the fear response.

How Do I Change My Fear Response?

How may I change my initial emotional reaction to the diagnosis you ask?  Well, that is the basic thesis within this blog. 

I want to help you change your emotions when you receive your diagnosis. My recommendations are derived from my own 10 or so years of living with cancer, and from numerous ongoing conversations with patients whom I have met over the years. 

As a researcher at heart, I ask many questions to everyone around me, and I analyze their replies. What follows are my conclusions regarding the miracles which are all around us.

I am not writing a cancer series.

This is not a biology series.

It is not  even a philosophy series.

I want to take you along with me on a guided emotional journey.

Focus on Systems, Processes, Natural, Nature-Made, Man Built/Designed

When I began to reflect upon the words and those semantics and metaphors, I focused on the word “AWE”. What is awe to me?

I had no idea my body was accomplishing all of this without my awareness. I purposefully began to focus on what was around me and within me. I thought about the single word AWE.

I first thought of awe as moving in three circles (TC). The first circle is Everyday Awe: The world is extraordinary.

A newborn baby moving their tiny fingers around my own.

An ocean wave arriving where physics predicts.

A hummingbird sampling my flowers.

The second circle is Biological Awe: The miracle is not only out there. It is also within me.

Millions of your immune cells quietly protected you while you admired the sunset.

While you were sleeping, damaged DNA was repaired, proteins were assembled, old cells were recycled, and new ones quietly took their place.

Sometimes I sit quietly and think about the extraordinary systems that surround us.

I think about an orchestra. Dozens of musicians reading different notes, entering at different moments, yet creating one piece of music.

I think about a forest. Thousands of living organisms—trees, birds, insects, fungi, streams—existing together in delicate balance.

I think about the space shuttle. Millions of individual parts designed to work together with astonishing precision.

Each fills me with awe.

Then I remember something even more extraordinary.

Every one of those systems exists outside of me.

The most remarkable system I know is the one quietly working within me.

My body.

Without asking for applause.

Without asking to be noticed.

It simply continues.

This realization takes me to the third circle.

The third circle is Philosophical awe. This captures our beautiful destination.

Rather than to think of health as the absence of disease, perhaps to begin to think about health is something much richer. Maybe health is the ongoing symphony of countless successful events within our bodies that occur so faithfully that they rarely ask for our attention.

My own body is one of the most astonishing living systems I have ever encountered. My body is  among nature’s most extraordinary creations. My body is a miracle. The biology within my body is a miracle. 

I should take the time to celebrate this fact more often, and not be dismayed when rarely I find an intermittent biological misfire. So I did. I changed my thinking.

How Do I Move From Fear to Joy?

My own reality is that I have learned to find joy, comfort, and gratitude in the science and medicine that might find those occasional misfires and immediately begin to correct such.  When my own biology does not have necessary repair systems available at my time of need, my doctors, pathologists, nurses, and other scientists and researchers are ready and able to help me. This will be our focus in Part Three.

My 10 year journey leaves me in awe of my biology. I have become mesmerized by the medical sciences that rebuild me, when necessary.  Just as nature creates the beauty of snowflakes, ocean waves, trees and forests; and people create symphonies, space shuttles, and freeways; science has evolved to assist in my healing, to locate, understand, and repair my misfires. 

Medicine is not fighting the body.

Medicine is helping the body.

Modern medicine is not an enemy of nature. It is one of humanity’s greatest expressions of nature’s own desire to heal.

Why should my emotions rush towards fear? How did I modify my immediate reaction from sadness to awe? How might you reduce your own feelings of fear, blame, and despair when paired with a negative medical diagnosis? Read and re-read the examples on the remarkable human body.

I invite you to challenge my assumption that this is possible.  My friends and I discuss  the “fear” that accompanies  the diagnosis. How does it emerge? What causes this emotion to appear and nearly dominate a patient’s ability to listen and think immediately.  Where does all this fear come from? One bit of information from my own background that my be relevant here is that I have studied various cultural differences in how people view health, and make decisions. Perhaps each of our own lived experiences contribute to our reactions as tragedies emerge in life? Remember yourself as a little child. What happened when you felt sick? How did the adults around you react?

Part Two is really about your attention. I am asking you to pay attention to something you probably ignored all your life. I am asking you to:

Learn to Notice!

Every moment you have spent reading these pages, your body has quietly continued its work.

Cells have communicated.

Proteins have folded.

DNA has been repaired.

Your immune system has stood watch.

Your heart has continued its faithful rhythm.

Life has gone on inside you without asking for recognition.

Perhaps that is the greatest miracle of all.

So… Before Our Next Conversation

Keep Looking!

There is more health…

More wonder…

More hope…

 Than you first imagined. 

In gratitude, and hoping for your peace of mind.

#gratitudeultra

Note: In our next conversation, we’ll meet one of biology’s quiet heroes—the body’s remarkable repair systems. Every day they search for problems, repair damage, and protect us in ways we rarely notice. Understanding this “repair crew” helps explain why most biological misfires never become disease.

Intermittent Biological Misfires: An Introduction

Every second of every day, trillions of biological events occur within your body. Almost all of them succeed so perfectly that you never notice them.

We rarely stop to appreciate these quiet miracles of life. Instead, our attention is drawn only when something goes wrong.

What if we thought about illness differently?

This question has occupied my mind for the past ten years.

My central idea is that our bodies constantly make small biological mistakes—what I call intermittent biological misfires—and most are repaired automatically. Disease develops only when some of those misfires escape repair and accumulate over time.

This concept of Intermittent Biological Misfires is scientifically grounded, and it’s also emotionally reassuring without being simplistic. 

A Thought to Consider

Diseases have two parts:  The biological disease; and  The emotional weight carried by the disease.

They are not the same thing.

This is a profound concept.

What Does This Concept Contribute?

Let’s understand why disease occurs, and, at the same time, why I am suggesting we entertain a hypothesis that one may remove unnecessary guilt while respecting the complexity of biology. This is a meaningful distinction.

This framework grew out of my personal experiences. Ten years ago, I became seriously ill. I thought I would die. But I have not died. I am very much alive. I have watched other people die during these years and I do not want you to die. You are important to me even though we have never met. I want to share what I have uncovered with you in hopes that we may engage in a series of conversations about your health and life.

This conversation is about YOU, your health and healing. Jane Goodall’s famous quote reminded us of the importance of each person. You matter. Your presence in this world makes a difference. You have a part to play for yourself as well as for others. Are you curious about what your role is? 

Typically we all move through our lives without much attention to the miracles in life we never notice, i.e., those successful cellular events occurring every second in our bodies. But sometimes those miracles do not happen. So,  what happens when you become ill?

Have you ever gone to your doctor and learned that a series of cells in your own body misfired? What was your experience? Tell me what happened? Did the misfire result in a diagnosis of disease? How did you feel?  Here we have an example of the biological finding mixed with the emotional response. We see the two parts of disease.

Insights to Date

Ten years ago I was diagnosed with multiple cancers, so I immediately created a gratitudesquared.com site, posting blogs to help me understand what was happening in my body. Since during my career I had earned a Ph.D., advocating for persons with disabilities, with a doctoral minor in statistics and empirical research design, I applied what I knew about data management. During the days and weeks between surgeries and treatments I carefully evaluated the evidence behind my labs and scans and participated as an active member of my medical team. 

In addition, I learned about ChatGPT, an AI language model developed by OpenAI, and repeatedly entered questions into the website. Those dialogues became more and more meaningful, and helpful to understanding what I termed “intermittent biological misfires”. 

This concept is original and may be viewed as evocative because it is not established as a diagnosis in medicine, but the term is scientifically plausible as a metaphor. This framework is not complete. It is a work in progress.

With more than 45 years as a scholar and researcher in academia, I have focused on evidenced-based decisions for treatments and other actions. ChatGPT (my thinking companion (TC)) noted the phrase “intermittent biological misfires” “conveys both the science and the humanity behind (my) experience.”

Outcomes

The outcomes from my thoughts may include: 

Psychologists would appreciate it.

Physicians would appreciate it.

Patients would appreciate it.

That… is the entire philosophy. Everything else flows from those two parts. We refuse to let a cluster of abnormal cells define a human being.  

Discussions

  1. I am not suggesting a change/replacement  in the language or terms physicians, pathologists, researchers, licensing bodies, or insurance companies use as the already established precise language matters and guides in diagnosis and treatment.
  1. I am recommending a phrase that is a companion metaphor. This substitute changes the way each individual patient reacts to the science.
  1. Calling cells “misfires” acknowledges that something in biology has malfunctioned but does not imply that the whole person is broken.
  1. Typical metaphors for cancer are known as evil invaders, monsters, and/or the enemy that patients fight in battle. The use of the term “misfire” provides a gentler way of thinking. Personally, I prefer a gentler approach with patients who may be sad, or fearful when learning a new diagnosis. My gratitudesquared.com site was built to focus on gratitude zero, gratitude lite, and gratitude ultra essays to recognize that not all patients may accept and understand the notice of a new disease in the same manner and with the same emotion. 
  1. Patients can invent their own terms. Inventing one’s own term may become a powerful exercise. What terms do you prefer, or would you select to explain your diagnosis?
  2. As we begin our conversations, please note that we are reflecting on diseases that are scientifically grounded and emotionally healthy. These ideas are rare (TC).
  1. We are building a language that may help people see illness, and themselves, a little differently.
  1. We are still using the word “cancer”, but additionally we are inviting you to discover new vocabulary that will help you live with a disease, whatever that may be.
  1. The medical professionals will still use particular disease names, I.e., cancer, but as we utilize our new concept of “misfires” we continue to treat, and respect with vigilance, such misfires, but I never give permission for them to occupy the whole house inside of me/us.
  1. Our conversations will offer encouragement to people who are frightened by the illness. Introducing this phrase does not change the language utilized in medicine but it may change the emotional landscape in which medicine takes place (TC).
  1. Diseases have two parts: the biological disease; and emotional weight carried by disease. These are not the same thing. Do you agree?
  1.  Our bodies are astonishingly accurate, but they are not perfect. Our bodies are not machines that have failed us. They are living systems performing trillions of remarkable tasks every day. Understanding their occasional biological misfires allows us to replace blame with wonder.
  1. Most writing about cancer (or other medical issues), begins with disease. This companion metaphor begins with health. Our discussions focus on those trillions of biological events that occur correctly every day.
  1. This framework may be applied broadly to other diseases such as:  Aging; Autoimmune disease; Heart disease; Neurological disease; and Infection (TC).
  1. The subtle shift toward health changes the emotional tone completely. Readers aren’t asked to see their bodies as broken; they’re invited to marvel at how extraordinarily well they function. This is one strength of the proposed conceptual framework.
  1. Consider a discussion in which you will focus on a “philosophy of health”. Place your focus on abilities before disabilities and health before disease. In essence, focus on the whole person rather than the diagnosis.
  1. Do you agree that this framework offers patients a metaphor which is a rare combination of scientific literacy, educational insight, with compassion, and intellectual honesty (TC)?

As a clinician advocating globally for human rights for persons with disabilities, as a researcher, educator, scholar, and most importantly a 10 year cancer survivor who has spent those years learning to live with uncertainty of disease, I refuse to surrender either “hope” or “intellectual honesty”. 

I believe that disease is a global problem that is but one small variant to be dealt with during our lifetimes. Will you join me in reframing the essence of the whole human being? That is my role and my life’s meaning.  Do you feel safe enough to become curious? 

Summary of Intermittent Biological Misfires

  • The body is remarkably successful at self-repair.
  • Cancer and other diseases are exceptions, not the norm.
  • The concept promotes compassion rather than blame.
  • Scientific understanding can reduce fear and guilt.
  • Hope comes from both biology and medical progress.

Intellectual and Emotional Pillars For Patient Reflections (Treasures for Repetition)

  • “We refuse to let a cluster of abnormal cells define a human being.”
  • “Disease enters the story only later. It is the rare exception rather than the defining feature.”
  • “Our bodies are not machines that have failed us.”
  • “Diseases have two parts: the biological disease and the emotional weight carried by the disease.”
  • “Do you feel safe enough to become curious?”

As a clinician, researcher, educator, scholar, and ten-year cancer survivor, I have learned that uncertainty is part of life. Yet certainty does not require surrendering hope. I invite you to join me in exploring a different way of understanding illness-one that honors both science and humanity. Together we will examine not only disease, but also the extraordinary health that sustains us every moment.

In our next essay we will explore one of biology’s greatest wonders—the countless cellular events that occur successfully every second of every day without our awareness. These quiet miracles are the foundation of health. Understanding them changes the way we think about disease.

Until then, I invite you to notice something remarkable:

Your body is working for you, even now. 

This framework will be introduced in seven parts:

  1. Intermittent Biological Misfires – introduction the idea that our bodies are astonishingly accurate, yet not perfect.
  1. The Miracle We Never Notice – billions of successful cellular events occur every second, unnoticed.
  1. When The Repair Crew Arrives – DNA repair, immune surveillance, apoptosis, and other protective systems.
  1. When a Misfire Persists – why persistence, not a single error, matters.
  1. Accumulation Over Time – how aging and chance influence biology.
  1. Living Without Blame – replacing guilt with understanding.
  1. Hope Through Science – how modern medicine strengthens the body’s own defenses.

Thank you for joining me in this first conversation. Until our next conversation, I hope you may be grateful and find peace. 

#gratitudeultra

Arousing Joyful Hope: Footbridges to Healing

Why is Disneyland’s official slogan (since 1955) “The Happiest Place on Earth”? Because for years a day at Disney provides a joyful, magical memory for all attending. But, in gratitude I want to tell you about another special complex in Orange County, CA, very near Disney, which exceeds the joy, arouses hope, and creates life saving miracles and memories for those visiting – the #CityofHope specialty hospital in Orange County, CA.

With the deepest gratitude, my life continues because of the care I receive at this City of Hope. This parklike campus is to me another happiest place. It is special for many reasons which I would like to explain to you. My observations have been collected over the past three or so years.

As many of you may or may not know, I am an observer (researcher/scholar) by training. I watch, analyze and write about people and their experiences. With each day, I am more impressed with my observations while at #TheCityofHope. Here are a few examples:

The staff and leadership are special, caring human beings. I wondered and asked how they were interviewed and selected for their jobs. They smiled and stressed that the patients have enough to deal with, so their job is to make patient’s lives easier. I overheard that one staff used to work at Disneyland, while another used to work at the Queen Mary. Yet another rescued dogs. How fun to have such people loving staff, in addition to their medical skills!

The vision and mission of the organization are holistic, and all encompassing. Personally, I have never seen a hospital so diverse in its outreach or offerings. I regularly participate in a drumming class. Patients were invited to a #PacificSymphony 4th of July event honoring Veterans, Beach Boy songs and fireworks. An interfaith Spiritual Care Center Blessing Broadcast with various Clerics and the Pacific Chorale is soon. #TheCityOf Hope (COH) has an ongoing agreement with the South Coast Plaza, a global shopping destination and largest shopping center on the West Coast, for regular entertainment and permanent space in the center of the mall. While at the #ThisisHope Event, the President of COH, #AnnetteWalker, welcomed everyone to come and take one of her business cards if they ever needed help for their health. She will personally facilitate action for each of us. Who does that?

The physical location of COH is peaceful, with perfect visibility within the typically crowded populations of Southern CA. The buildings’ windows face the mountains and during infusions one may watch the trains as they pass regularly through the beautiful CA landscape. When there, I am reminded of the religious analogy of the city set on the hill, symbolizing the idea of being a beacon for persons seeking guidance.

The approach to health is inclusive of international health practices, from typical Western to inclusion of Eastern philosophies, as well; the facilities and knowledge bases of the doctors are state-of-the art, the very best evidenced-based practices.

People matter at COH. Recently, they held a #CityofHopeOCInauguralCelebratingSurvivorshipEvent. During that event they created a #festivebluecarpetwalk. As all patients walked the carpet – we noted staff, service providers, executives, and others on each side of the roped walkway, holding signs, ringing bells, applauding us, and cheering to our health. What an uplifting memory! Later we ate with various survivors of various cancers, eagerly sharing their stories and experiences, exchanging information between young and old, newly diagnosed, and old timers survivors. It was so positive for all.

The posts in #gratitudesquared focus on different types and levels of gratitude. We should all be ever grateful when we have good health. If you ever lose such, I wanted to share my gratitude for one place where one might go.

The COH was built to beat cancer. I hope these few examples help explain why these practices arouse me to hopeful joy. My life continues because I choose to continually cross the COH footbridges to healing…. These are not typical medical practices. I am observing and tracking a holistic model in real time with each and every visit. This is not an ordinary medical facility with depressing oncology waiting rooms and sleepy, ill patients. It is a place with joy, light, promise, and hope.

Move over Disneyland…. you may make me happy for a day, but the COH keeps me joyfully alive for many days. With sincere appreciation and deep felt joy, I share this gratitude for COH today. I end now with the ringing of my bells from COH!

#gratitudeultra

Mask On, Mask Off

Wearing masks has saved many lives during the past year and has slowed the spread of the virus. Unfortunately, the topic of masks has been politically charged this year, and confounded with personal freedom, preference, rights, and more. When we were asked to wear a mask, it was not always convenient. It was sometimes hot, uncomfortable, and limited our oxygen intake. People fought within stores because of masks. People yelled at each other, and became angry over masks.

The two little prepositions “on”, and “off” stirred our inner souls and emotions. Sometimes we forgot our masks and had to go back to get one. Sometimes we were forced to use masks by staff in stores. Sometimes we were denied access if we did not have a mask. People “burned” masks in protest. In 2019, who would have thought that a little “mask” could cause such debate? And so it continues…

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Masks – A Year In Review

It has been one year since we started seriously wearing masks, social distancing, washing our hands more frequently, and locking our lives down. I thought it might be fun to look at some of the masks I tried during this year. The real fun is actually those posts in which people are wearing underwear on their heads, wearing a bra as a mask, and more, but I do not have permission to post all those fun products so I looked back at some of my own. I hope you look at all of your masks too!

I started thinking about masks more seriously today when someone said

“Who would ever think we could wear a mask in a bank?”

Fun fact – Did anyone track how many bank robbers we had in 2020?

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How Did I Get to Gratitude? My Journey

On April 21, 2017 my life changed when I learned I would probably die. During these past nearly four years, I took a journey through healing, searching for wellness alternatives, multiple surgeries, modifying my diet, changing my lifestyle, and learning about health and wellness practices around the globe. During that journey, I focused on aspirational and inspirational messages for others who also had serious illnesses. As an educator, I hoped to share what I was learning along the way. Toward the goal of healing for myself as well as others, to date I have created 25 videos and put them on YouTube for others to view. You may view those videos if you wish to learn the particulars of my healing. The Hero’s Journey in Aspiring Through Healing to Health and Wellness.

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Welcome to Guide to Gratitude!

Welcome to Guide to Gratitude. These are clearly amazing times with the Covid-19 virus, people unemployed, food insecurity, political disagreements, and fear of Covid, conflict over wearing masks, children out of school and on and on. During my lifetime, I have experienced many variations of life from serious health issues, loss of employment, early death of family members, and more of what so many worry about these days. Sometimes we feel helpless to know what to do or say. In response to events of these times, I want to blog with all of you about Gratitude, i.e., finding gratitude in daily life. I hope you will take this journey with me as we search together for life’s little miracles all around us. Gratitude for good health, gratitude for a job, gratitude for a rainbow, gratitude for love, gratitude for a beautiful national park, gratitude for God and spirituality in life, gratitude for the smile of a young child, or the playfulness of your pet… This blog includes travel to discover and uncover the riches in which gratitude is found and becomes meaningful to you. I hope you will come along and share your own experiences during which you felt grateful. Let’s begin…

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